New here

[Medusa2001]

Hi. I made one post before and as per advice from a comment.. I think it's good to share my story. I've been moving around a lot to trying to find a place I call home. It causes me a lot of anxiety cause I just want to do right by myself and life but it somehow always ends up to me feeling alone and burnt out. Now I feel like I want to just go back to my home state and wither. Live a simple life, do the things I love and make just as much money as it takes for me to do those things. Even with that, I feel tapped out..like I can't work another day. I can't keep a job...I can but it emotionally and mentally drains me and after awhile I start dreading going to the same place every single day doing the same thing. I was like that in school as well. I've had anxiety and depression since early teens, in and out of therapy. Currently my go to are hotlines and just anything I can use to distract myself. Which is easy. But then when everything floods back in....it's hard to deal with super intense feelings. It just hurts. I feel like without constant support..I can't reassure myself sometimes. I'm not on medication. People in my life have told me to not go on it due to their own beliefs about it. I know it takes a while sometimes to find the right type but I'm honestly not good with pills due to my past..i attempted to end my life with them. On the very medication that was supposed to be helping. I regret it deeply and maybe feel like that's why I'm so hesitant. People seem to think "nothing is wrong with me" I just got to stop thinking, or focusing on negative when actually I'm super optimistic...my relationships suffer and its hard for me to build bonds, be independent and actually do the things I want to even..I'm looking into therapy and I feel like I'll definitely try medication...I'm extremely self aware, my brain jist likes to go off and do its own thing. I'm young. I'm trying to make friends and build a life and it's hard with all this on my head and heart. I just want to be happy and allow myself to be happy and not scared that everything will end in hurt. I don't know what I'm looking for....so anything will do...thank you for reading...

[MarileeKemp]

Thank you for sharing your story! I can relate to a lot of it. I often feel like I can’t control my racing thoughts and I feel like I’m being clingy when I try to vent about them. Anyway I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone in your anxiety. Feel free to reach out to me if you need