on losing friends…

[Sarge27]

I don’t know what happened. People will just disappear from my life like they’ve dropped off the face of the earth, like they were never there. I know it’s probably not my fault but I can’t help but think it is. I try reconnecting to no avail. I’ve always had a small circle of people close to me and it’s only getting smaller.

[Agora1]

Hi Sarge27, I'm older than you but find myself in the same position for different reasons.

Friends die, friends move, friends get sick and some don't care anymore. A lot of this

loss is out of our hands. At your age, reach out whenever you can. People need people

now more than ever. They say there is a season for each friend we meet. It comes along

when we least expect it. Embrace those times. It will happen for you.

I'm glad you are here with us. xx

[Sarge27 in reply to Agora1]

I must say this response brought tears to my eyes, it’s exactly what I needed to hear, I can’t give enough thanks 🙏

[Celtic27]

Hi sarge those who are not there for you now where not true friends to start with ! Your still a young man with your life in front of you so embrace life we are all here if you feel you want to talk take care my friend all the best !

[Sarge27 in reply to Celtic27]

Thank you so much, I can already tell this community is exactly what I needed in my life

[012703060610]

Many of us suffer the loss of friends and family in our worst of times. I think it says a lot about their character. This can become even more difficult if you have been there for someone in the past and they are no longer there for you. I fell very physically ill. I too am a bit older but have kids watching their mother slowly waste away. Getting sick cost me my job. In the end, I maybe keep in touch with 5 people at most. A few randoms check in....which is nice. I now know those folks were true and genuine in our relationships. It's the people we really thought that we could trust that get us the most down! Embrace the people who care and while it hurts, you may just have to let some people go. I did so intentionally with a few toxic friendships.

[Sarge27 in reply to 012703060610]

Thank you so much for your wise words, know I’m wishing the best for you!

[Trainchaser]

I to have a small circle of friends who have been supportive to me. I am fortunate. I have a bigger group of acquaintances. The people in this may only know a bit about me. In my book it takes a lot to go from a acquaintance to friends. I close off people. Sarge if I can help in any way let me know even if it is just posting back and forth

[Sarge27 in reply to Trainchaser]

That’s so kind of you, I appreciate it more than you could know

[Trainchaser in reply to Sarge27]

Your most welcome. I hope you have a good day

[MaggieSylvie]

It is sad to lose friends, especially when we don't know why they have disappeared. You know how busy everyone is around your age - they move away to new jobs, they lose their jobs and suddenly find themselves with huge problems; they date someone new, they get married, they start families, their parents get sick. Or they get involved in other things - some new hobby or activity. It's not always your lack of ability to keep friends, though it might help to look at yourself - are you a good listener, for instance? Being able to really listen is the most important thing to have. Google how to make friends and keep them and I'm sure you will find things get better for you. You want it - study it. Practise it. Get good at it. Choose your friends wisely.

I hope you manage to find one or two close friends who, no matter where they are, will remain friends with you. And - you have this forum.

[Sarge27 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I do have some loved ones that I know will stand by me no matter what, thanks so much for your advice

[car103]

I want to quickly add something to these wonderful comments. The people I work with; neighborhood dog walkers, people I exercise with - these are acquaintances not friends. And, I need them. My actual real friends at this point don't live near me. States away.

I always wonder how is it me - where did those local friends go. And why aren't there people seeking me out as a friend.

I don't have much family or a good cohesive block. That made COVID an extremely isolating experience. It was also shocking to me 8yrs ago when I was in a serious biking/truck accident. "Friends" came once to visit once, and they never came back or called.

What am I doing? Staying close to the 3 long term friends. Those relationships are solid.

Using those acquaintances to be connected to people.

Remember that I am a good person and a good friend. Just move along and not dwell. Believe things will change. I'm doing my best.

[Sarge27]

doing our best is all we can do, isn’t it? I really relate to this, truly.