Worn out

[PeaceNeed]

Im self destructive and cant seem to stop. Im worn out and dont have guts to take an exit.

[aWorriedOne]

I used to be really self sabotage-y and very destructive to everything in my life. I didn't stop til I took the time to look inside of myself. I found out some things were my fault, but other things were not. Its easy to have things happen and give it all a blanket explanation, but that only hurts us when we do that. Its good to take accountability but don't blame yourself for things out of your control. Sometimes things break, people leave, jobs lost, and it isn't always our fault.

All you can do is take care of yourself and eventually the lines will become clear, and you'll be able to detach yourself from what you can't control. (I still have a nasty habit of melting down and blaming myself when bad things happen in my life, old habits die hard.)

It will all be okay, even if you messed up now, your future can still be bright.

[AnxiousSilver]

"Im self destructive and cant seem to stop."

& Yet, there are days where I see you being very supportive to others around here.

.

You do help others around here.

I've seen it.

.

You are more important to this community then what you are feeling at the moment.

.

It's hard for me to type on days like today, because I don't want to sound like a hypocrite.

I still have those bad days at times too.

But, I've seen you help others.

.

You know, *sigh* I wonder a lot what my life would be like if I never broke down 20+ years ago.

I had a lot going for me, and it all got wiped away.

But.. Through the years I met some amazing people in my previous group.

& I've met some special people in my short time here.

.

I don't have all the answers.

But I am very grateful for this community, and everyone that is here.

& That includes you too Lonepain.

[PeaceNeed in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Pain

[PeaceNeed]

Thank you for your very kind words. Ive been kicked about by a mental health system in NYC that is more geared towards profit than helping people.

The supported housing system here is corrupt a d the reason Im such a mess. I hope this post dont get deleted.

I reached for help and got nothing but abuse.

[PeaceNeed]

Thank you for your very kind words. Ive been kicked about by a mental health system in NYC that is more geared towards profit than helping people.

The supported housing system here is corrupt a d the reason Im such a mess. I hope this post dont get deleted.

I reached for help and got nothing but abuse.

[fauxartist]

Why do you feel worn out? What has you feeling this way?...sometimes by just starting to talk opens up the feelings that can get balled up inside of us and we don't see a way out of it. I'm glad your here and hope you do share.

[PeaceNeed in reply to fauxartist]

Ive been going thru stressful housing situation for a few years now all this time my life has been on hold. No joy only think of 2 days I wasnt being eaten up by depression annd anxiety,

[fauxartist in reply to PeaceNeed]

Housing is stressful, I've been down that road a few times. Sometimes I have had to take less desirable accommodations to make sure I had roof over my head....but I just kept trying, and looking and networking with different outlets....eventually things worked out. but we have to keep moving forward because it's rare anything is handed to us.

[PeaceNeed in reply to fauxartist]

I know got to do it myself. In my state of mind right now Ive made decisions that have blown up in my face.Its gotten to point where I dont trust myself anymore...its frustrating. I was more capable only a few years ago. Im 64 now.

[fauxartist in reply to PeaceNeed]

I understand, I owned my own business for almost 30 years, owned my home, had all my toys, a 15 year marriage with travel friends and three cars in the driveway...within 2 years....bad health, divorce, loss of income and savings, all gone....I was in my mid-fifties....it took a lot of humble pie and giving and selling everything I owned but my car, a few keepsakes, and my cat...I had to work in a call center and go back to college on a student loan....and rented a room...so yeah....I know.... Now I am 70 this year, and finally getting my act together after a few years of struggling...if I can do it, anyone can.

[scansnap]

First, if you are really feeling suicidal, call 988 in the United States. Second, have you contacted a therapist to help you with your problems? Third, imagine what you would say to somebody else who came to you with these problems. Then apply those responses to yourself.

[PeaceNeed in reply to scansnap]

I have very bad days. That was one of them.

[mauv]

You are reaching out for help so you to want to help yourself feel better . Your journey has been hard but you found our support group and we are here for each other . We understand the deep emotional pain anxiety and depression cause . We may not get support from our family or friends because they can’t relate That is why we need each other.I hope we here from you.We didn’t cause,can’t control,and can’t cure our disease. It is because of lack of brain hormones. Don’t blame yourself Lonepain.

[PeaceNeed in reply to mauv]

Thank you.

[Frogeyes]

Lonepain I can say I totally relate and understand the struggling. Please allow today to be better than yesterday.

You are not alone 😌

[PeaceNeed in reply to Frogeyes]

TY I'll try.