🐶Stuck Between Gratitude & Grief🎭

[LifeIsThePitts]

Smokey has had 5 seizures and counting since 5 am yesterday. I didn't sleep 😴😭 most of the night cuz he wasn't well and had another one at 3am after I followed him around the house for an hour.

Hubby brought him to the emergency vet and he's being evaluated now. because of our Independence Day holiday July 4th, there are no appointments available next week and I cannot risk having him suffer continuously until there's an availability.

Like Haven when she reached the end, this kinda has the same feeling. It's our last ditch effort to get his seizures under control or we're going to have to put him down.

He's an Old man...14 1/2 is several years past his life expectancy. I'm trying to feel grateful for our time together but at the same time, my heart is breaking in a million 💔 little pieces.

Fingers🤞Crossed... maybe we'll get a few more weeks or months.😢I'll update when hubby gets any info 😔

[Elizabeth830]

Thinking of you. That has to be so scary.

[hypercat54]

Hi I really feel for you as like many of us I have been there too. It's always an awful feeling when you know it's a beloved pets time to go.

Even though your heart is breaking this is the last thing you can do for him being the caring loving owner you are. It doesn't feel like it at the time of course, but if he can't be helped then I'm afraid it's the only option.

You know this anyway. So sorry. Take care.

[Nothing_but_books]

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Yes, please do let us know. I'm hoping for good news.

💜💜

[Shnookie]

so sorry U R going thru this. Sending good karma and healing ❤️‍🩹 prayers to you

[Starrlight]

((((((((((Strengthening hugs)))))))))

[kenster1]

fingers crossed LTP take it day by day and enjoy every moment that you can. my dog is 15 and a half out lived life expectancy by 4 years and she`s struggling now with arthritis and a few other things... when she gives me the look I`ll know it`s time but she`s still eating and drinking ok. treasure the here and now as much as you can.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to kenster1]

He's coming home tonight with meds. Hubby picking him up now. But I think that this is probably his last few days with us💔💔😭

[LifeIsThePitts]

This is not going to end well...I'm in shock and totally dissociated... waiting to speak with vet

[b1b1b1]

I am so sorry. I know how hard this is for you - especially over the long weekend. I hope the emergency vet can help. Would you let us know? xx

[mauv]

I will pray the seizure medication stops the seizures. It is hard because they comfort us when we are sick. They are our best friends and always loyal. 🙏🙏🙏for Smokey!

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to mauv]

Thank you...he's sleeping right now. I'll be home in 2 1/2 hrs

[Hidden]

Fingers crossed 🤞. Sending love and light. ✨️

[Focusedmind]

I am so sorry, LITP! We have all been there. Pets are the friends we turn to for comfort, yet it is hard to comfort them because they can't tell us what they really need. My prayers are with you at this difficult time. 🙏❤️

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Focusedmind]

THANKS 🙏 for being here today. I can't express how much y'all helped me survive this horrible 😭 day.

[Focusedmind in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Keep us up on what happens as time goes on. And see if you can "pinch-hit" with your husband so that he watches Smokey tonight while you get some sleep! (That's what my husband and I used to do with sick kids.) 🤲

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Focusedmind]

Yeppers, but I don't think I can NOT stay up with him, though. This may be my last few days with him.

[Focusedmind]

Then each sleep in shifts of 4 hours as this may last for several days or more.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Focusedmind]

Just got home and he can berely walk... stumbling everywhere... this is the end. Just have to convince myself I'm doing the right thing...FUCKKKKKKK

[Focusedmind in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

I am so very sorry! 🙏❤️

[Oshgosh in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

I’m so sad for you.it’s a really hard time for both of you.thinking of you x

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Oshgosh]

It's getting worse 😞 His quality of life has disappeared. A miracle has to happen in the next 1-2 days....and I don't believe that's in the cards. I can see he's confused and doesn't understand what's going on. He fell on his face when I got home tonight from work and skinned up his chin.

Tomorrow is my Fri at work and my husband will be at home with him again like today.

I'll spend the holiday and my days off with him and then say goodbye. I won't keep him alive because I can't let him go.

Thanks for letting me vent and process this transition 🙏I'm praying for the impossible 😭

[Focusedmind in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

You are NOT venting! You are just telling us how you feel. Don't worry....anyone who has lost a beloved pet knows exactly how this feels and immediately empathizes with you.!

I hope you can settle Smokey and yourself down to quietly be with him for the next couple of days until the right moment comes to say "goodbye." You'll know when that day is; here's praying that your heart can bear this peacefully. 💔❤️💓

[Oshgosh in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

you are welcome to vent . We are here to support you.

[SayNOtoPanic]

this is so sad. 🙏🏻😢prayers for your baby.

[bethelbee]

I am so sorry about Smokey. It's so difficult when we know it's almost time. It tears us up inside. You are doing all you can for him and giving him the comfort he needs. I just took my 18 year old cat to the vet 2 days ago and found out she has a mass. She's doing semi ok for now but don't know how long she has. Will love her until it's time. Take care and Sending my thoughts and prayers....

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to bethelbee]

I can't believe it is happening... and it's happening 😭

[bethelbee in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

I'm so sorry..my heart goes out to you 😥

[catsrock]

I'm sorry. This sounds really hard.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to catsrock]

It's WORSE than when we lost his sister, Haven. He's my first dog I ever owned... well, he owns me 💔❤️

[Beater]

😭😭😭I have no words. My heart is breaking for you and Smokey. It's a road that I have traveled more times than I ever wanted.😭😭😭 my big guy is 13.5 years 82lbs. He's been having a tough time lately too and I am constantly worried about him. It's hard to imagine my life without him. I completely understand you wanting to spend every minute of your day and night with him. It's one of the hardest parts of our lives. He loves you unconditionally. Sending you and Smokey big loving hugs. ❤❤

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Beater]

I'm trying to wrap my mind around letting him go. He's not doing too well, balance and walking is really off. He's lost some vision, too. I know it's not going to be very long. He did go out for a walk with my husband this morning but kept stumbling and falling on his face 😢

[Agora1 in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

My heart goes out to you

[Beater in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

I'm so sorry, I wish there was something I could do. My baby is having a bad day too, pacing all day and won't eat. It's devastating and my heart is with you and Smokey. ❤❤❤

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Beater]

O God...the pacing and whimpers and unsettled demeanor. I'm sorry you're going through this too. It is 200% devastating! He's my 1st dog ever. Got him at 7 1/2 weeks old. It's crippling

[Beater in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Beater]

Took the day off work because, without a gigantic miracle, we'll have to put him down after the holiday. His quality of life is gone. The only time he's peaceful is when I'm holding him. Otherwise he's unsettled and confused and doesn't understand what's happening. Just tried to take him for a short potty walk...he fell over 5-6 times before the end of the street...theres only 6 houses on our Cul de sac.

[Beater in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

I'm right there with you. It's an indescribable pain yet we can't let them suffer. I'm not sure I can handle it right now. Spend every second with him, he knows and feels your love.

[designguy]

This is the part of life that truly sucks, sorry you are dealing with us now, I know it hurts like hell and you are feeling totally gutted.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to designguy]

It's caused heart palpitations I'm so upset. I slept on every floor in the house last night following him from room to room. It feels like part of my soul is dying. Trying to dissociate while at work today to survive.

[designguy in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Try to be kind to yourself too, I know it feels like your soul is dying, i've been there.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to designguy]

This too shall pass...but I don't really believe it

[designguy in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Yes I know, it will take time. It's so hard but I'm grateful I could be with them in the time I had left with them and while they make the transition but I was gutted for days. I think it's a noble but very difficult thing to do.

[4Itchy]

Heartbreaking....I'm sosorry

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to 4Itchy]

THANK you for your support and prayers 🙏😊

[Gingerbreadman1978]

14.5 years that’s a great age hope the medication helps him it’s a very hard time been there and got that t shirt good luck wish him the best 👍

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Gingerbreadman1978]

Wish I never had to get that Tshirt 👕🤦😥

[Gingerbreadman1978 in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

yes me too I was heart broken 😩

[ElephantsHear]

I’m glad you and your husband can support one another. Smokey is a beautiful dog and your baby; my heart goes out to you. Whatever you do is the right thing- we do the best we can with a bad situation. I hope you have more quality time left.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to ElephantsHear]

I'm hoping to see improvement this week. Otherwise I will do what is necessary to keep him from suffering. I'm praying for a miracle 🍀🙏

[Hidden in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[ElephantsHear]

How’s Smokey? Said a quick prayer for his/ your comfort from God. Hugs/ wishing the best.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to ElephantsHear]

Took the day off work because, without a gigantic miracle, we'll have to put him down after the holiday. His quality of life is gone. The only time he's peaceful is when I'm holding him. Otherwise he's unsettled and confused and doesn't understand what's happening. Just tried to take him for a short potty walk...he fell over 5-6 times before the end of the street...theres only 6 houses on our Cul de sac.

[ElephantsHear in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Darn. I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you’ll have a couple days to say goodbye, but I wish I could take away your pain because I’ve felt it before; it takes a while to recover and it sucks. I hope you find comfort knowing you’ll be there with him when it’s time and it will be quick and painless for him. Let the forum know how it went afterward if it’s helpful for you because I know a lot of people who’d be there to offer support.

[Hidden]

Hey girl, so so sorry to hear about Smokey. This was gut wrenching to read. I’ve been in your position and nothing is tougher. Thinking about you and your family right now. 🙏❤️

[melbrown]

😭 I'm so sorry LifeIsThePitts my heart is breaking for you. We lost our dog Hans to lung cancer last year & I was/am crushed. He passed at home my arms. We were lucky... found the cancer late January 2022 & had him until that Aug, most part you could not tell he was in pain, until that final week...He was my baby... 🫂... so I understand. My thoughts are with you.

[Focusedmind]

All of our thoughts are with you LifeIsThePitts!! 🤝🙏💓💗

[Stippler]

LifeIsThePitts I am so sorry to hear this. Our pets are often better friends than people are. I am holding you, your family and Smokey in the Light. 🙏🙏🙏