I thought I was doing well. I thought I would be stepping down off meds. I KNEW moving to a whole new state (and town I’ve never been to) would be rough but the constant house hunting while trying to stay realistic and calm is maddening. My kids are depending on me to stay positive, my husband (who is normally my rock) is getting down about finding a house (3 offers so far have been rejected) and so he is depending on me to stay upbeat. So much pressure.
We are in a short term rental and want a house before school starts in the fall but I’m not so sure we will make it. I am literally sick with anxiety and depression but keep it inside because I know me falling apart makes the situation worse.
Thanks guys for letting me vent. I haven’t been on in a while due to the move and husband getting a new job. It’s just so so much right now. When I see my realtor I feel like crying. I have one more month then insurance changes and I can find a therapist. Until then, I am on my own.
Written by
Willow2022
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
House hunting nearly drove me to despair as well as I started last July and succeeded a couple of weeks ago and thankfully I have moved now and starting to settle in nice.
Thanks Star. I’m all anxiety all the time right now. We had 5 houses we looked at last week, put in two different offers and nothing. This weekend, one new house popped up. It’s excruciating.
oh noooo that’s rough Willow. I had to be social today over and over again and it has really drained me… I’m such an introvert… unless I’m writing. But one of my goals is getting out more so it’s all good.
It's very difficult. The real estate market is unbelievably competitive. Great if you are a seller, but not so great if you are a buyer. I am sure you will get something, but I understand the rejections, delays and time pressure are tough to deal with. Great that you will be able to start therapy soon. Do you think taking long walks would help you to relax. That sometimes works for me. x
thanks B1. I do think walks would help or even some meditation and yoga but I have not forced myself to do any self care. I really should. Thank you for the reminder. If I get so frazzled trying to hold things together, I’m going to burn out.
Nothing is your fault in what you explain ; New house, news town, new insurance, kids and husband depending on you ... So much weight over only 2 shoulders !
You need to tell them all how heavy this is. You need to tell them your limits and the fact that you are neither a Marvel Hero nor a magician, just a fragile and delicate human being who must be seen and treated as such.
With time, you have created a "mask" of a rock and they all see you like that. Time has now come to break the mask and show them you real yourself. You may be surprised by how helpful they will be and, moreover, how they knew you felt bad. Just, they were waiting for you to ask them to help to come and take your hands.
Share the load, each and everyone is able to take his part, as small as it can be !
You nailed it. My therapist used to say I with feelings by ignoring them until I had a breakdown. I am showing *some* of my stress and feelings but I certainly don’t want my kids to feel responsible for me. I have felt that way by their actions and I refuse to have them grow up taking care of their “crazy mom who cries for no reason or who needs a nap every day”. I know what you are saying and it is so true but I limit what I confide in them or show them as they are children and I don’t want them taking on the role of caregiver and parent. They would… they are such wonderful kids.
Hey Dolphin, long time no see. They don’t have that expectation, I take on th May role naturally so everyone else can be visually upset/stressed/scared. If we all fall apart it’s going to be a mess.
I totally understand this. I spent years doing this. I only asked because when I had to let go for my own health they were able to stay afloat.
Yesterday we all shared feelings. My daughter cried seeing me cry which is extremely rare. I never lost my control in front of them. I would cry alone.
I hear you and understand the frustration of house hunting,i have looked at 4 different properties ,non of which were suitable, although one especially was absolutely pristine, could move in tomorrow and do nothing,but,the brochures are very misleading, the pictures make it look like the houses are spacious,but once inside they are quite tiny. And i must admit its no fun in traipsing around houses,its mentally and physically exhausting.
Hey Silver, it has been a while hasn’t it? I won’t be stepping down or off my meds, I know that is a faulty move. I was so proud of how I was handling all this until we lost out on the last 2 houses. The heartbreak I felt was terrible. About a house! One I don’t even own! But I must move on. I feel better this morning (it is raining and gorgeous out) and will continue my home search. Dig deep today and find that motivation. 🫤
I know life often dictates what we have to do, but so does our health, and while you are both feeling so low, I would say that now is not the time to look for a house. You are already renting, so would it not be a better idea to rent a place in the new town and give yourself time to look around, while getting used to new jobs, schools, etc. Once there, you might find yourself in a better "place" to start house-hunting.😊
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
leaving my house is more and more scary 
Anxiety or depression?
Confession of Depression 
Anxiety and depression 
