Trigger warning...S.I.
I was chatting with another member about my physical health challenges, nerve damage and spine problems. I've researched the relationship between mental and physical health...they definitely play off of one another and directly effect the outcomes on both sides of the equation simultaneously.
I've worked 29 years as a casino dealer, essentially a glorified assembly line worker, with repetitive motion and joint degeneration exacerbated by bad genetics. Runner my whole life. No accidents, falls or broken bones. However, coupled with untreated, undertreated and mistreated mental health challenges and it's the recipe for a perfect storm of mental health exacerbating physical health decline and declining physical health exacerbating mental health deterioration...into a death spiral of horrible health outcomes that I'm sure were headed into autoimmune dysfunction or cancer if left unchecked. I'm positive my mom's untreated depression partially triggered her leukemia.
🧬 Genetics loads the gun 🔫 and environment pulls the trigger. Everyone has genetic predispositions for diseases... but they do not have to be activated. I am POSITIVE that my deteriorating physical health was a DIRECT result of decades of untreated mental health. It almost killed me TBH. Suicide is a real symptom of depression. I've lost some VERY special people in this manner, by poorly treated depression and anxiety, over my lifetime. Their memories partially pulled me through my darkest hours. But I am fully aware how close I was to giving up on myself... and it's not pretty.
Today, people can ask me about ANYTHING...I am an open book 📖 and share my s#@t shamelessly cuz I'm dealing with it.
Addict...yes. Substance abuse...yes. Mental health patient...yes. sexual abuse survivor (NOT victim)...yes. food/body issues...I'm female, so YES. Trauma warrior...yes. Anxiety sufferer...yes. ADHD...yes. panic attacks...yes. PTSD...yes. I'll talk about it ALL ... if it's taboo, that's on YOU.
I've faced my demons to the point they're little devils and I can deal with that and continue to tame them into harmless entities. The 😇 angel on my other shoulder is a 🏒 hockey player in 🥸 disguise and will beat the living hell outta my 'lil 😈 devils👺👹...so beware 👿 you little bastards... you're going 👎👇 DOWN!😁😉🤭
All these 💩 episodes and chapters of my life represent the outcomes of poorly treated health conditions because I had no idea how to Care for this Body I was gifted at birth. NOW I'm writing my User's Manual so I can get the most outta this meat suit before I expire. I'm already well over halfway to my expiration date. My physical problems will break my body down before my mental ones do, at least I believe that now VS 16 months ago. I have many good years ahead...but only cuz I have started doing the work. None of these crappy things ARE me, though. They are the results of desperately trying to fix myself with broken tools. They're not part of my identity, and that's important to discern.