Went to therapy and still feel miserable, panicy, useless, brain-fried, trapped in worry what i will work/do next, on the verge to cry but

[Against_the_current]

UnableI can't even describe it

Aghjiyfgh

What will i do next? I can't go back to mom's house. I need to choose major and a career, find a place to live, get my life together. But all i do is panic - stay braindead - panic - stay braindead. I can't even study for my final exams. Im just frozen. My stomache and guts are lagging as well. Idk whether it's anxiety or inflation - food prices got up and quality down.

One moment im a kid with two sociopathic parents divorced and the next moment im a traumatized adult who can't function, living in a pandemic, war and inflation

I know i need a doctor. But im born in a hell of a country where nobody gives a damn about me and they think i can change and it's just my character. My eye is twitching. And those are people who studied psychology and medicine, civil people just tell me to get a psychiatrist (no matter how many times i tell them i have a psychiatrist and changed many) or to just k1ll myself because i can't function in society

Dad's paying for me while i study. I finish this year and what next? I can't open a therapist practice because i need years of extra courses and supervision which cost half an apartment.

[SoporRose]

Have you thought about volunteer opportunities that would take you out of the country and allow you to be somewhere entirely new, away from the family that exacerbates your trauma, away from people who mirror back to you the self you are trying to change? Something like the Peace Corps? It would be a big step, but might be the change you need.