A Flood of Emotions

[Sloth23]

It’s getting harder to stay afloat. I can’t stop my mind from racing and going to the worse case scenario. I can feel another shut down coming on. And I don’t think I can make it through that again. It’s been almost 3 years since I’ve felt like this. I have to tell myself to breathe. The sleepless nights are becoming more frequent. My mind just won’t stop. I’ve made an appointment with my doctor for additional support. Just when I felt like things were finally falling into place it’s like nope I’m going to up your depression and anxiety. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I don’t want to burden my brothers with this because they have their own family to take care of. My friends don’t understand because they don’t know how severe my depression and anxiety is. Most days I want to just lay in bed under my blankets but I know I can’t. So I get up and go to work and put in what little energy I have left. And once I’m off I shut down again and get ready to do it again the next day. I’m so tired of feeling like this. I just want to be happy. But at the same time I’m scared when I’m happy…I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[Hidden]

My heart goes out to you. Please know you’re not alone and that things absolutely can get better. Thank you for reaching out here, that can take allot to be able to do. That shows you want to get better. Feel free to message if you ever want. We are all in this together like an understanding family.

[RemySue]

I've been there-my last bad bout was over the holidays. I felt like I was doing everything I was supposed to do to fight it and still felt like crap. Please reach out as often as you need to.

[Crochetchica]

please tell your brothers. I’m 69 and have told my brother and sister how I feel for the first time and they’ve been fantastic. They both have families and busy lives. I told them in an email. Good luck x

[bonkers65]

I hate that feeling of " waiting for the other shoe to drop" when I'm feeling good.

[WolfMuffin]

Hi …you are not alone …I have been through the EXACT same thing. Things can better believe me. I have put my trust in Jesus (He is Real) it’s not about religion it’s a relationship with a real person. You might not see him but you can feel His presence. I also got some anxiety meds from my doctor they helped too. I am going to prayer for you. All will be well .

[Sawdust23]

hey Sloth, I’ve often been in your shoes and it is definitely not a fun place to be. Hang in there and stay close with us. I agree with others to share with your family. They can handle the info and it will be easier knowing others are helping to bear the load with you. Hope you start feeling better

[Toddzen]

My mind is my worst enemy. It is mostly negative and attacks me relentlessly. I get some relief from Meditation and Prayer. Walking in Nature. My psyche meds just make me drowsy. I am doing IV Ketamine treatments every month. I am in a fight for my life against this disease.

[Sloth23 in reply to Toddzen]

I know what you mean by your mind is your worse enemy. It is a constant battle for me too. It doesn’t help when my work space is enclosed by walls. Sadly my office doesn’t have windows. I would love to be distracted by watching the rain that is currently coming down. Prayer works for me too! I’m still working on meditation but my mind can’t focus long enough. Stay strong.