I sleep all day. I can't do anything

[Against_the_current]

I just cover myself up in blankets where im safe. Usually i would at least watch something but nothing interesting on the tv, they repeat the same over and over again and it's not even good shows, and i have access to Netflix no more. I can't read. I can't study. I can't focus, i understand nothing and i get triggered by the few i understand. I would draw but i forgot my pencils at that one friend that has issues with drugs and lives away while i can't even go outside to buy food. I can't even go to the kitchen to make food. I had breakfast at midnight. I am not even hungry. And i have no interest towards nothing. Or if i have interest i have no focus or i have triggers. Like i really like videogames but there met some boy that was really hitting on me. Then he invited me to play and invited some other girl. I went so crazy that i died like ten times. I don't even want to log in for daily bonuses in fear to see him. I also went insane "what's that couple on your profile pic". "You're so jealous, you don't trust me, you hurt me". Well, my own dad left mom. My own dad replaced me with two other daughters. Im sorry but im scared i will be replaced. I don't want to log in and see him playing with someone else because im a jelaous monster or just keep on dying. And no irl friends want to go out or talk. Really nothing to do. Mom called me to thank me for the 8yh of march gift, i hung up because i was sleeping. She called again and i picked up and just got anxious seeing her. And my sister didn't even want to talk to me. My sister sees me as walking anxiety. I have really bad sinus issue, probably allergic and when the AC is on, im chocking, so i try to have it off but it's too quiet so i have the tv on and I'm starting to hate the shows. Or i open a window. The fresh air really helps but it's really cold so i wrap up in blankets and wrapped up i fall asleep. I can only meditate by opening a window and breathing until i fall asleep. I can't even cook for myself. Im pushing through university because it's not a big deal but my score will drop for sure after the vendetta my classmates did. Firstable forced to choosable subjects i didn't choose, then my team getting some terrible girl instead of me and im stuck in a team with barbie dolls who have neither the skills to make a presentation nor the desire. They put zero efforts and don't give a damn. Im too mentally unwell to carry the presentation. I will pass with this terrible presentation but the mark will be really low. And then im "crazy" because i hate this girl that stole my friends. See why im jealous? Even my friends get stolen away. My work team got stolen away. My dad got stolen away. Everyone replaces me. Keeps on living their lives. I don't know what to do with myself. My trauma is rotting me on the inside

[Starrlight]

♥️

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

💓

[catsrock]

Sending lots of hugs.

[Against_the_current in reply to catsrock]

Thanks. I need them. Hugs

[SoporRose]

Once you decide which therapist to keep, print out what you wrote above and take it to that counselor. I think it will help her or him understand what issues you need to learn to navigate because you lay them out here pretty thoroughly in a way that shows their complexity.