First time dealing with anxiety. I need guidance.

[Amendez]

I have developed anxiety due to my sons developmental delays. You can say it triggered it and has caused me to become overwhelmed with negative thoughts. I blamed myself for his delay and I overthink everything. At times I don’t know how to help him or if he will get better. His future worries me. Am a first time mom and I feel like a failure. Even though I love my son no matter what, my anxiety is triggered by how much he struggles at school. I have ever dealt with anxiety before and I don’t know how to cope with it. I try to be positive and strong for my son but a just cry at night. How do you guys cope? Does it get any easier?

[Iliketojugglejuggle]

Hi there, I can somewhat understand your situation as I have a son who needs an IEP plan in school for severe ADHD and Tourettes. It can be very challenging and sometimes depressing dealing with it, but blaming yourself will not help your child. It’s probably the guilt that is causing the anxiety, but looking forward and not at what already happened is key. Im sure your son loves you and sees how much you’re trying to help. Our kids are the most important thing in our lives so prioritizing and delving into that 100%, nobody will judge you for that. Don’t be hard on yourself and realize you can only change what’s ahead.

[Amendez in reply to Iliketojugglejuggle]

thank you so much for your advice.

[designguy]

Your anxiety is probably caused by worrying about your son and the future issues with your son. It can also be caused by repressing the normal fears and emotions about your son and the issues he and you are dealing with. Anxiety can also cause thoughts that we judge as weird or that we shouldn't be having and we think we shouldn't be having them and so we increase the anxiety by worrying about the thoughts and the cycle repeats and maintains our anxiety.

My suggestion is to allow yourself to be concerned about your son and have the normal fears about him and to also spend some time learning about what anxiety really is and how to constructively deal with it. I found the DARE youtube videos very helpful and the DARE Anxiety book is very informative and effective about how to deal with it. The other thing that really helps is learning and practicing simple mindfulness meditation in order to start learning to observe your anxious thoughts and be able to detach from them and let them flow in and out of your mind. Anxiety typically makes us catastrophize about things and blow them out of proportion and keeps us from being in the present moment. The most helpful thing for dealing with anxiety is to learn to not believe the anxious thoughts, let them go and get on with your day. It takes time and persistence but knowing what is really going on makes a big difference.