Not sure what to do anymore

Hello

I have been struggling with serious periods of depression since perimenopause, 16 or 17 years but whose counting. I am almost 67 years old now.

Before I started perimenopause I experienced depression, primarily related to PMDD but I was able to push through. I knew the depression was cyclical and that it would lift. And it did.

Until I was around 50 years old and started experiencing severe depression which did not lift.

I believed that when I hit menopause things would improve. However I have continued to experience devastating depression.

I have been hospitalized 5 times.

I will post more later.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Depression is devastating. I identify with you there. I also relate to increasing depression as I age. I hate it.

This forum is a good one, where you can share with people who understand the illness. Keep posting.

[minimalnomad in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Hi, you continue to write as well.

I feel a little relieved writing here.

Maybe we can both help each other by writing to each other.

Havea nice day!

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to minimalnomad]

Yes it’s a good place to share with one another. Hopefully I can be of help to you.

[Hidden in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

LilyAnnepuppy....Thank you for responding. I'm trying to get the hang of this site. Everything is so difficult for me. I hope things get better for you.Susan/Hanah500

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Hidden]

I try to take one thing at a time. I get overwhelmed easily and need to live moment to moment. I put one foot in front of the other and do what’s in front of my nose.

[LifeIsThePitts]

I'm 48 going through perimenopause now and experiencing all the crappy side effects of the "second (reverse) puberty" women don't tell us about. Hair loss, severe acne requiring oral medication to suppress because all topical creams do nothing, 2-3 months between periods but still dealing with BAD PMS that only gets worse if I skip periods, escalating depression and anxiety, mood swings, increased irritability and anger, major hormone fluctuations, night sweats and poor sleep...I'm sure there's more that I can't remember right now....o yeah, brain fog.

How long will this last? I've been in this worsening cycle for about 2.5 yrs as my periods are coming further apart. 9 months was the longest hiatus. Now it's either 21 days or 2-3 months. Never really know what to expect. PMS really ramps up. My fatigue goes on hyperdrive the longer I go without one. I thought it was all in my head until I started paying attention to my symptoms and cycles. It's a really disruptive time in a woman's life and I'm not sure any of us is prepared for the shock it brings to our daily life. I'd love more input from other women too. I just feel so drained.

[Blueruth in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

are you aware that HRT got a bad rap because of a bad study (run by men)? I have a friend whose life was turned around because of it. Better studies say it is safe for most women (some exceptions) . However there are doctors that don’t know this so you have to talk to more educated doctors. Also that doctors really do dismiss women’s symptoms more than men. Iow it does not have to be disruptive.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Blueruth]

I will be discussing this with my obgyn at my annual exam. I never wanted, or had, kids so in my defense, I should be exempt from this plague, don't ya 🤔 think?

[Blueruth in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

yea right! Me neither. I tried that BC that is supposed to stop periods and I ended up with a flood one month… at work!

It actually wasn’t bad for me although I feel like I started getting hot flashes this year which is late. My cousin had a child and it was terrible for her. Talking about it is good. I have no idea what my or my cousins mom went through. They still don’t do adequate research though.

If they say HRT is dangerous don’t just accept it. Do research and get another opinion. The research was really bad and very biased but it stuck. You don’t have to have a science degree to identify a bad study.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Blueruth]

I have done a little reading already about those studies and they are absolutely 💯 biased. How do Men get to dictate what happens to Women's bodies in the first place? We don't even have dominion over our reproductive rights anymore because this back ass-ward country is hell bent on self destructive policies and stunted/repressed social norms. It fascinates me in terrifying ways what we're headed for as a country. My 8 year old nephew has a shit show of a lifetime ahead of him and doesn't even know it yet. I'm just glad my sis had a son and not a daughter. So shameful.

[Hidden in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Hello.. LifeIsThePitts.None of what you are describing is in your head.

Try to be as good to.yourself as you possibly can.

If you can sleep extra...or just rest, that is good.

Do not feel badly about asking those that are part of your world for help with anything.

I do not think that hormone therapy is dangerous but it is just difficult to know what you need.

This is going to pass. But until it does do not expect too much of yourself.

None of it is in your head.

Hang in there.

Susan/Hanah500

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the reassurance, Susan. I lost my mom at 19 and don't have a mother in law, so I'm pretty much on my own in this department. Sis lives 5 states away.

I'm resting before work cuz I'm really irritable and PMS-ey right now. Just trying to survive a bunch of stressful stuff this week. I'd love to hear more suggestions for dealing with this transition. It's frustrating to feel like I'm on a 🎢 rollercoaster every month.

[Crochetchica]

I can relate to that. I’m 69 and going through my worst bout of depression at the moment. I struggle to get out of bed and I’m so exhausted. Take care

[Hidden in reply to Crochetchica]

Hello CrochetchicaThank you for writing.

I am so so sorry you are suffering and struggling.

I know what it is like not to be able to get out of bed.

Adderall is not usually prescribed for depression but it is the only thing that gets me going.

It is unlikely that your provider will prescribe it but you never know.

I feel at our ages we should be in control of what we want to try.

I hope there is somebody in your life who can help a little...at least somebody who can make sure you have some food in the house.

Depression is a real disease.

It is not your fault.

Hang in there.

Susan/Hanah500

[Marysblue]

Having been through it I now know that there are doctors who will check your hormone levels and can recommend progesterone cream or estrogen. They're also a couple of herbs that boost estrogen, black cohosh and red clover. They helped me some. You can read about them online.