Hello everyone. I have been here for 1 year and this is my first time sharing.

[lightheart]

I have never shared this before. Not even my family knows how I feel, can't add another burden to them. I am still a bit uncomfortable expressing myself but I can't keep everything bottled up because I think I am losing myself.

Can someone please tell me what to do when everyday something unexpected goes wrong in my life. Makes me question if it makes sense to continue. Why do I have to struggle so much and everyday is another setback? The hardest is to be unable to provide for my family. To watch my poor wife struggle to make ends meet but just not enough. Fighting hard to hold back the tears when around my kids. I can't sleep at nights, most nights I get about two hours sleep and sometimes I am afraid to sleep because I feel I may not wake up.

Sometimes going through the days I am a little light headed and I don't drink alcohol because my high blood pressure is an issue as well.

I try to read motivational quotes and watch the videos to get me through the day, but reality always hit me down. I keep out of trouble, always try to do good and help people whenever I can so is all this happening to me.

Anyone, please, talk to me

[SCC1]

Hi lightheart. I feel the general way you do. I help others, don't get into trouble, no alcohol, drugs. I try to be a good person. And I also wonder why I'm here.

Then I think, maybe it's just to live my life how it is and not to expect big things. My life is very simple. I am just trying to break even, and if I can, a little more.

I guess I still have more time "here" to just be me. I don't need anything extra, just the basics (for me)...to feel cared about and to have some comfort in being okay w/ myself.

My life is my struggle. I feel like something good happens, then something else happens to take the good away. That's why its nice to have a little extra good at the end of the day.

I don't really have any advice. Just wanted to share this w/ you, BC I feel your hurt and want you to know, that you are not alone.

I wish you the peace you deserve. xx

[lightheart in reply to SCC1]

Thank you, I really do wish you the same. People who know me always see me smiling and think I am always happy and my life is perfect. But they have absolutely no idea how it feels with loans, mortgage, utilities being disconnected, no groceries, kids who are young and innocent and don't understand how the world works. You made me feel a bit more comfortable to slowly express myself here and not be judged as being worthless or a failure.

[SCC1 in reply to lightheart]

Here, you will never be judged or seen as "less than". We are all here to help each other and that is the only intention we have.

This is a place where you can be yourself and not worry that people will think of you as anything other than someone coming to others for help. We are all here to support each other and do not judge.

You can express anything you want to. Sometimes there may be embarrassing or really personal things people are hesitant to share. But know, that no matter what issues you have, we can all relate to wanting to be heard. And a lot of people have the same/similar problems.

Please post or reply however you feel. No worries! xx

[lightheart in reply to SCC1]

Thank you for that. Your words really do mean a lot. Thank you

[SCC1 in reply to lightheart]

You're welcome 😊

[Hidden]

Hi lightheart, if you’d like to find a support group and share with others in a safe context, this organization has group online meetings for depression and bipolar support dbsalliance.org/

[lightheart in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, I will visit one day. I usually look at the positive responses here for the past few months and you all have been very encouraging. It took me 1 year before my first post here so I think I am a little comfortable here for now. I do appreciate you