What's wrong with me

[Against_the_current]

Insane headache, nightmares, always feeling weird, can't sleep normally, can't eat normally, can't act normally. Wondering what is going on with me. Whether my new place is killing me by having not enough space and bad water. Or my trauma. Or something is wrong with my brain from the mental trauma and generic issues - most people in my family get terrible brain illnesses where they can't recognise us when they get old. Social deprivation. ... What is going on? Why am i in so much pain? I can't sleep from nightmares about my parents. I have lost track of space and time. I just stay alone and confused on my ceiling room. Paralyzed, can't clean, nor move out. My "friends" ignore me when i text i need help or just company. Im absolutely scattered

[blackcat64013]

Hi 👋, Moving to a new place is a well known stressor. If this adds to the pressure of things already bothering you then accept and acknowledge this 😤 If you cannot cope, reach out for help from a counsellor. In the meantime, please know I am 🙏 for you in Adelaide, Australia. 🐈‍⬛

[Against_the_current in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you. I'm actually in therapy. Im just panicing because the kitchen is locked and my neighbour is in charge of the kitchen and im thinking "im so stupid for going to a place without my own kitchen" and "is he mad or something" and trying to study. Im sorry for replying weirdly, im just panicing and im all alone. Thank you for supporting me, i really need it

[SoporRose]

What’s “wrong” (and I’m using the term insincerely) with you is that you’re still trying to find ways to heal, to set boundaries, to “fix” your family because you care about them. You’re trying to maintain your grades while living somewhere you don’t like and figuring out grad school and a career. Really, the only thing “wrong” with you is that you expect so much from yourself that you think there’s so much wrong.

I see your strength and your perseverance and your connection to family despite the difficulties between you and your folks. I see your commitment to helping others through your study of psychology. I see a lot that’s RIGHT.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Thank you. Wish people around me irl knew and understood me even half of the amount you do

[Brokenbeardedbear]

So sorry youre struggling so much. Dont be hard on yourself. It seems like staying with yourself and resting your mind is what you have needed to help you recover. Or at least it seems the best way you know how to deal with all the problems youre going through right now.

[Against_the_current in reply to Brokenbeardedbear]

Thanks. I think that's what i need, i just can't let myself rest