Should we search for happiness at all costs?

[Sylvain-]

First, and even if it is somewhat meaningless for many of us, I want to send you all my best wishes for this year. I hope you will find your way toward a more peaceful mind and life this year.

For Christmas, my son got a book titled "What is happiness?" Of course, I took a serious look at it. But alas, it didn't give definitive answers. But instead, it asks questions for the reader so they may think about it and find their own responses.

Many of these questions are thoughts provoking for a 49yo grownup with mood and anxiety disorders. If I may, what would be your answer to that:

""" Should we search for happiness at all costs? """

* Yes, otherwise I would have missed my life

* No, because you have to let happiness come instead of searching for it

* Yes, because being happy is being truly yourself

* No, because you should better use your energy to work hard and reach greater achievements

What do you think?

[Hidden]

I agree with all the “Yes” answers in your post regarding happiness. Seek it out and hold on to it. Achievements won’t matter much without it.

[Sylvain- in reply to Hidden]

How do you actively search for happiness?

I no longer have many delusions regarding significant achievements in my life. But do you think someone could really miss their life if, in addition, they didn't find happiness?

[Hidden in reply to Sylvain-]

hi Sylvain, Sorry in advance, as this answer is going to be a bit philosophical as my life situations and feeling on this could equal a long novel. Appreciate your questions and have spent much time myself wrestling with this very dilemma My life did not go as planned. Not as I intended it, and not as loved ones had hoped it would go. Bad decisions, failed achievements, a lifetime of regrets. I was the blacksheep rebel of my family in my younger years and did not “appreciate” or take advantage of opportunities that I had. So, I have no delusions either. Most of those ships have long sailed for me. On bad days. I often say that this just CAN’T be MY life. It was not supposed to look like this, Am I disappointed in me for letting myself and others down? Most definitely. Did I miss my life and not find happiness? Almost. BUT, somehow, someway, if by the grace of god, I discovered that true happiness comes from within us. Letting go of the should have/could haves, and be happy for the little things, no matter how small, that we have today. Seeking happiness for me means doings what I enjoy, finding ppl I enjoy, places I enjoy, and putting myself out there. Loving myself and others. Finding peace inside of myself with who I am today, regardless of everything I missed out on and failed to achieve. Happiness is a state of mind and it’s our choice. Once I made that choice, happiness comes back to me in ways I never thought possible. Yes, I’m still a work in progress, but when I’m on my deathbed, I want to go knowing I found true happiness in me. 

That’s my story on happiness.

[Sylvain- in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply, KellyKay.

The story of your life makes echo to mine. But I have not reached the serenity and peace of mind you show. I never liked myself – and often, I hate myself for having made the wrong decision or missed opportunities.

In a sense, what I search for is a form of redemption. But no one can grant me that. Maybe I'm just not ready yet to make the choice of being happy.

[012703060610]

I don't think there is a good answer if you think about this from all points of view. Countries in war....they can't seek our happiness, they MUST seek safety. As a parent, would you let your kids suffer so that you can have all of your happiness? It's a scale I think and personal. However, generally we should go find as much as we can!

[Sylvain- in reply to 012703060610]

I find it terribly difficult to genuinely be happy when I know bad things happen everywhere. And if I manage to forget it, even the slightest negative event could ruin my mood.