further marks on my other cheek over a discussion regarding the beach house.
Left me at the house with his adult child who has already pointed abd pulled a bb fun in my face.
dads got cancer. Pfa on Pam my mom. Fuck her. She won’t let me see him. So I’m getting my attorney involved abd all these all holes are going down
mug I’m shitting myself they sure as shit better be too!
If you’re being physically abused, can you remove yourself from that living situation?
I’m really worried for you!
baby steps. If I had another spot I’d be there.
ok, I’m praying for you!
praying for the absolute best outcome for you 🙏
Also worried for your safety. I do hope you are able to find somewhere safe to get to soon.
baby steps and lots of paperwork
So sorry about everything. Thinking about you. Pls stay safe. Attorney sounds like a must! ❤️
that’s life. She’s been my attorney for 15 years now.
his douche kid showed up in the middle of the night abd banged on doors forever. He’s got other places to stay.
Has anyone gone through this before? What real tips do y’all have? Like … do this … avoid that … don’t forget this … anything? The prayers for safety are helpful but feedback and connections and how tos would be helpful.
I have. My friends (or people I thought were friends) all abandoned me knowing full well what I was going through. Maybe they were just tired of hearing the same broken record IDK. I have no family so there was no one to turn to there. I’m out now and have been alone ever since…5 years now and still healing. Towards the end of that nightmare I learned to keep my opinions to myself (mostly) as the only outcome was more abuse. I quietly made a plan though. And I recorded him…journaled every instance of emotional/physical abuse. I never ended up using it against him but during the last final blow up, my threats to use it were enough. Maybe. Or maybe he just wanted rid of me too. Who knows. I kicked him out of our house and threatened to call the cops. He left and never came back. (I did have a bit of a relapse where I thought we could actually get past our issues but boy was I wrong and thankfully that truth came fast and furious)
I went into severe debt but honestly it was worth it. Took years to claw my way out but at least I wasn’t getting treated like garbage anymore. Just please believe that there is a way out…it may not be obvious or even immediate but don’t give up hope. Baby steps are in fact a move forward. You’ve got this.
I have no family either, and am also training myself not to express any opinions. I'm not in the same position as you by any means, but I am in the night time of my life. We never have the control completely in our hands, do we?
Similar to me, but at least mine got out of my hair permanently, by suiciding. Brought up my children on my own, with only a loose bunch of friends whom I see occasionally, but they were supportive.
Cheers, Midori
now this is helpful! I’m so sorry you were with a douche too. 
I’m glad it helps. Yup for 5 yrs I put up with it…I’ve yet to forgive myself for it but working on it. Just please keep reaching out and writing what’s happening if only just to get it out of your system. It’s when we bottle it up and pretend it’s all ok that we allow ourselves to be poisoned from within. I believed everything my ex douche told me about myself for so long. Trust yourself and definitely trust your instincts.
even if you can’t forgive yourself … I forgive you! You didn’t know what you didn’t know until the red flag started waiving. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes not. Ours started with … he’s gotta be right. Then he’s gotta be drunk. To then eye rolls abs dismissing super important life threatening stuff and acting like it’s no big deal are. I get hurt.
I know he doesn’t respect or love me.
I’m just “prettier” than his last girlfriend (his words) and I’m 11 years younger so I’m a trophy.
With a masters degree in business and I e taken all the primary documents and am mailing them to my attorney.
Fuck this douche. Domestic violence sucks.
aw well I really REALLY appreciate that. I’ve had people say that I need to forgive him so I can heal and move on. Fuck that BS! I don’t need to forgive him for shit. It’s me that I need to forgive for allowing him to get away with what he did for so long.
I’m very glad you are taking action. Sometimes it just takes getting the ball rolling to give us that much needed strength to keep pushing forward. Mine was a different situation than yours but I was an object too and nothing more so I know how that part feels at least. I promised myself that will never happen again. I hope you see your worth and know you’re so much more than a trophy..
I deserve so much better than this! I’ll find my tribe or me and my puppy pill be sitting pretty if I get my ducks in a row. Fuck domestic violence. Paper trail. Police. 988. Guns removed. Clips removed. Paperwork in transit.
Don't forgive, Write it down to experience and be very aware for red flags in future relationships.
I never bothered trying to find another partner. I had two children to bring up; didn't want a man-child as well!
Cheers, Midori
I’m going to write a book. Been saying it for years and putting it off but I’ve already started getting my materials together. Im going to take the plunge this week. I have been single ever since and too scarred from the last ordeal to even contemplate being part of a couple again. I want to but I can’t seem to jump the dating hurdle. I’m 51 now with my chances dwindling…that’s how I see it.
Can you get an order of protection against the adult son? You are in a dangerous situation. I hope things work out for you.
it will be by proxy
tried. In PA you have to be a blood relation or have had sex. I reported it to the police. His dad threatened to throw me out. I called 988 the other day when he was drinking. The police showed up abd told me to file a PFA and that next time don’t call 988. Dial 911 because it always escalated. I have begun squirreling important paperwork and IDs with a trusted friend. I made him take the gun off the property. I gave bullets to a friend. Abd the clips are being sent elsewhere. Like the lake.
I am SO glad you’re making a plan to get out of there!!!!
So glad you are taking action!! You don't deserve what he's been doing. Keep us posted. Stay safe!!(I'm in PA as well)
Go girl! You're getting in the groove!
You have no need to take shit from anyone.
Cheers, Midori
If the hubby is getting physical with you, call the cops on him! It's illegal, and his cancer is no excuse!
I don't know how I missed this before, but with a disability, you can get him in many ways! A protection order is a shoo-in , and it can be extended to other members of the family as well. Try for one, and if he breaks it, a bit of jail time should concentrate his mind wonderfully. Remind your lawyer that you are covered over Disability rights legislation as a vulnerable person and you should be able to get protection.
Cheers, Midori
will you be my online mom?
Sure!
it’s on the list. 
and it’s my dad who has cancer. My boyfriend … ? … is violent.
hold me accountable that my behavior matches my intentions to be my best … and put me first to be healthy. No reacting. I’m making abs executing a plan to get out.
Synchronicity. Wholeness. Love. Joy. Satisfaction with myself.
steps forward. Attorney received paperwork. Meditating. Alanon. Safe place to work on applying for jobs and getting my bank stuff straightened out.
I’m leaning into my support system and putting firm boundaries in place with those set out to harm me.
Do no harm; take no shit.
Including my own.
Partners worsens my mental health
Partner with Alzheimers
My partner has anxiety disorder 
Partners with Depression
Help My partner is a narcissist about to leave 
