I just feel lost

[itsmeagainlol128]

Hey guys I'm new here. And I have severe relationship anxieties and Abandonment fears that I become too clingy and dependent on my partner to meet all my needs.What are some tips ..to depend less on my partner and be more independent

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Hi and welcome to this community!

Have you read any books on co-dependency? If not, here are two that I can recommend:

"Co-dependent No More" and "Co-dependent No More workbook", both by Melody Beattie.

[Hidden]

Hello there,

My best advice is to try and have some things going on for you in your own personal time, away from your significant other. If you can, take up some hobbies. Hang out with other family and friends too to remind yourself your partner is not the only one you can be safe around. I wish you the best of luck!

[scansnap]

I would certainly agree with the other posts that there are probably dozens if not hundreds of books dealing with codependency and anxiety and so forth. I would try to find a couple that you think are actually helpful and follow through with their recommendations and instructions.

You may want to consider telling your partner that you will need certain amount of time to yourself. It is a difficult situation because, on the one hand, you do not want to appear to be anxious or needy, but on the other hand you are anxious about possible abandonment or issues of being more independent.

In addition to doing some research on codependency, you may also want to do some reading on assertiveness training.