My mother is 74 years old and dying. The caregivers who care for my mother at her private home have harassed, intimidated, humiliated, belittled me throughout my mother's dying process. It has been painful, and I have experienced a lot of personal loss.
To give you an idea of the caregivers, they are Asians. I have not incited, provoked, or encouraged any of the behaviors that they have been displaying at our private home. I have experienced regular adult bullying from them. My family has had 11 Asian caregivers (all males except 2 females) at the house since October to January. I thought it would stop after the first two to three Asian caregivers but it did not. They teamed up and it is now month 4 in their employment. I am not a racist. In fact, I grew up with all kinds of different racial groups and it was always pleasant. I noticed this agency only has Asians which I did not know about until their employment. And, it hasn't been good for a while now with trying to change the caregiver out for other workers. I notice they block other workers (I have not had other racial groups working within the agency in our home). It is better for diversity in the house. So, I find this to be upsetting. The Asian caregivers have teamed up with the adult bullying.
The power of attorney has hired them, and it caregiver agency number 3 that has worked for my mother while she has been in and out of the hospital and at home. The first agency was all female and they were quiet, easy to work with, diligent, and efficient. I disagree with my mother's current care team, and I disagree with her medical treatment.
It has been difficult for me to recover, to gain strength, and to support my mother in various ways and with a wide range of issues with her medical situation that began in August 5, 2022. She has had 7 ER visits.
I do not feel like I have control in my mother's own home. There is just us 3 living here, all females. It is dominated by strangers (caregivers who are 24/7), home health (who hasn't guaranteed their work to get my mother walking again), and RNs being 1-2x a week (and has increased recently). I have seen my mother's health deteriorate rather than improve.
The lead caregiver who is Asian, is here at my mother's house 5x week during the day, is hostile, has power and control issues, is intimidating, and threatening to me. I recognize for myself depression, worry, anxiety, and personal loss with so much precious time and energy spent on the worry and issues that he has caused and the other caregivers. It went to 100% focus and attention on my mother to now diverted attention, and to basic focus on my mother.
The lead caregiver is trying to "run the show" for my mother's health. He is not an RN but the behavior, time spent at house, among other factors has effected my mother's care. The influence is negative, and intimidating. When others are in the house from Home Health it is clear that there are issues with power and control, and isolation.
What I do to help myself is not enough. What I do for my mother has not been enough either. I am 33 years old and I do not find enough tangible concrete support. I find myself lost, and unable to gather a hold of our situation. It doesn't feel good. Our private home struggles to resolve being leveraged in these areas and with these topics.
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