it’s been Years !

[Bulliedinlife1981]

it’s been years since I have been on hear so hello to everyone ….👋I have been working on my self trying to keep my anxiety and depression at a halt. It has taken one bad relationship to unravel it all and I am now crying every day wanting to end it all I have come so far but at this point I am exhausted 😩 tired of attempting to find love to trap love to consume love to be loved by any and everybody. I don’t have a question o just really need to vent because I am just so exhausted……

[Vilya]

Try discovering love for yourself fist and beliefs that keep you stuck.

[Bulliedinlife1981 in reply to Vilya]

Beliefs that keep you stuck ?

[Vilya in reply to Bulliedinlife1981]

Is it possible to be happy without having a romantic partner being in your life constantly?

[Bulliedinlife1981 in reply to Vilya]

who said it was constantly ? Please keep your comments to your self ….it’s a thin line when being supportive or judgmental when don’t even know the whole story ! Thank you

[EndUser13 in reply to Bulliedinlife1981]

I think Vilya was trying to be helpful and you missed their point. It's common for people to ask "how can others love you if you don't love yourself?", it's not some sort of critical judgement, it's emphasizing the idea that personal life begins with YOU, that YOU need to be comfortable in your own skin to (ideally) get the most out of life (or love from it).

We all get hung up on crap we put on ourselves and the better we can identify and work through those faults the more capable we'll be of enjoying life to its fullest, with or without any romantic connections.

That's my translation anyway

[Hidden in reply to Bulliedinlife1981]

So me get this right, because god forbid I should get yelled at while suffering my own anxiety but trying to help others as well.

Vilya responded to your post with this:

“Is it possible to be happy without having a romantic partner being in your life constantly

Your response to Vilya:

“who said it was constantly ? Please keep your comments to your self ….it’s a thin line when being supportive or judgmental when don’t even know the whole story ! Thank you”

I have only been here a few months and believe everyone has DIFFERENT ways of helping other. A question is just a question. Maybe Vilya’s line of thinking was incorrect in your book. But what if the intention was 100% good at heart?

I like to ask questions. But after reading your response, I now feel that I’m going to have to go back and read months or years of everyone’s posts, stories, ongoing struggles, etc before I dare respond because god forbid I missed something that happened a year before I even got here.

Do you all really want help? Or do you just want hugs, kisses, and emojis sent your way? If I ask for help, I want it to be brutally honest, no matter how painful. Otherwise what’s the point. I’m not going to get mad if people need questions answered to help me. If I can’t help them help me, then I’ll be back tomorrow complaining about the same thing over and over.

Is this forum really that thin of a line? I’m an extremely non-confrontational person, and would never intentionally hurt anyone. But what your post tells me is that a lot of people here probably don’t REALLY want help. At least not the way I do. If someone takes the time to ask me a question to better understand how to help me, damn straight I’m going to answer all day long without judgement. Go check my posts. I’ve never been rude to anyone, ever. It’s not my nature.

But your response really makes me question the validity of this site. Is it just more SM for bored people, or is it about being honest with yourself and REALLY TRYING to help others.

I’m honest, kind, and want to help. You’ve really shaken me to my core about this place.

[EndUser13 in reply to Hidden]

You shouldn't let one person speak for an entire group. These forums have their fair share of miserable people and a couple of outright trolls but for the most part there are a lot of great people here. I see folks getting helpful input they appreciate all the time. I wouldn't focus on the negative over one misunderstanding.

[Vilya]

You said you need to vent, but I am not trying to be judgemental. Please consider other people's feeling before lashing out. I have my own issues in life and this is not helping.

[Bulliedinlife1981]

well no one told you to reply

[Hidden in reply to Bulliedinlife1981]

Geez!

[Vilya]

Noone told you to bully others.

[Botum5961]

all I can say is I feel your pain. I just keep exploring ways to cope and I am lucky to have two wonderful friends. But I’ve learned you can’t burden your friends too much because severe depression and anxiety can be draining not just to the person suffering. It is so hard; I am amazed at how strong we all are. I am hopeful as more and more innovative treatments come out for this horrible condition.

[EndUser13]

Hello!

[Penny-dumped-Leonard]

folks.

It’s okay to vent.

It’s also ok to choose not to respond when triggered.

Both are okay.

We’re all hurting. That’s why we are here.

[Hidden in reply to Penny-dumped-Leonard]

I agree. But if you can’t be honest AND kind in your posts and replies, what’s the point?

[Penny-dumped-Leonard in reply to Hidden]

I see your point.

I also see it as … sometimes folks need to get it out first.

And then when the emotions are out folks can think logically.

In my experience it’s super tough to do both at the same time.

I’d hug you both if I could.

In my opinion, I think your hearts are both in the right place. And I think it’s kind of both of you to show that people care even when it doesn’t feel good or when we’re not sure how to proceed.

[Hidden in reply to Penny-dumped-Leonard]

Thank you for that Penny! This place is starting to freak me out actually. I don’t mind tough questions, criticism, advice that is uncomfortable, because if all that bothers me I shouldn’t be asking for help. Change is hard. Overcoming anxiety is hard. If it were easy no one would suffer. I just hate people being petty when someone is trying to help. Why come here for hugs and kisses? Yes, I love hugs and kisses, but definitely would prefer to keep it real and like people who are direct and honest. I realize not everyone feels this way. I hate SM so perhaps it’s all feeling to fake for me to continue here. This is very sad for me. Was hoping I wouldn’t find this kind of stuff here. Was just HOPING for more. Always looking for deep thinkers and always searching for more! Thank you for your kind words.

[Penny-dumped-Leonard in reply to Hidden]

I think hugs, kisses, emojis and platitudes are a way of expressing empathy.

Sometimes that’s the only tool we have to help.

I also think that it’s important to learn new ways of behaving, and also accessing the root cause of the feelings.

So I think your idea was an interesting point and also it’s natural to be sad and grieve when a partner is lost.

I think sharing these experiences are all helpful at different times for different people.

Perhaps your insight may help someone else.

I am thankful you shared your experience of loss.

I’m sorry your experiencing it too and the pain of it.

That was vulnerable. Thank you for sharing. Grief is heavy. I hope you’re able to find a space where the grief is lifted for you a bit.

[Bulliedinlife1981]

Well thank you all who felt the need to reply I never asked for for as I said I just needed to Vent instead of having a conversation about because I already made up my mind about the the situation……and for those who who may or may not need a back here goes one I waited 6 years to date so I could do self work I got into something and I realized was not going work and I ended it ….even tho I did not want it was the best thing for me ! Be my standards that is self love even in this time at this moment it is not what want it’s the best thing for me , it’s what I deserve and that it is better. Now it has taken a very very long to put myself back out there and just because this week feel shit next week I my feel like a million bucks but as I said I just needed to vent thank you 🙏 every one have wonderful day

[Bulliedinlife1981]

oh and as I reread this post I miss spelled some things and missed some word but hope you all get the point …… and for those who some times feel the way I feel it’s ok we all live to see another day when I wrote I felt so low and those words were so heavy on my spirt but fuck that shit …..but today I’m back to planing out my meals and and my work out regimens ….and I say to say I needed no one cuddle me I just needed to vent ! ✌🏾

[Penny-dumped-Leonard]

are you feeling a bit better?

I don’t care about the grammar.

Please give yourself a big hug.

It’s from me.

Deep breaths.

Slow deep breaths.