It’s been a while

[LiveandLetLive42]

Hey guys! I know I talk to some of you on PM but I want the rest of you to know how I’m doing. I started working 8 weeks ago just 10:30-4:30 but what a difference!! You know I was agoraphobic and hardly left the house for 3 years but having a purpose every day and a structured schedule feels so great. Maybe it’s just a distraction from my awful depression and anxiety but I’ll take anything at this point. If working is going to take me away from my illness for 6 hours a day than hell yes! The countless times I heard “Just get a job or keep busy” that I ignored, REALLY does help. And everything we do is easier said than done I know; but I’m living proof that having a responsibility everyday does help! And of course at first I could only handle just work and nothing else, but my body and mind is getting stronger where I’m starting to do other things as well. I know this disease SUCKS. I was drowning in it for years and the thought of working increased my anxiety to the max, but this job was emailed to me and I took baby steps without thinking ahead. I just started with the interview. And when I got hired, I just took one day at a time. It’s empowering and so rewarding. I wish all of you that little push. So many of you got me here and I sincerely thank you! I ❤️ You guys — M

[kenster1]

glad to hear your doing better lets hope it continues.

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to kenster1]

Well obviously YOU have a lot to do with it love bug 🐜❤️

[kenster1 in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

hey its you who put in the effort to try and get better.only you that deserves credit.

[PassingTheDuckTest]

Good luck. My problem is frequent job burnout. Either the job is stressful, or the management or coworkers are. Still looking for my Goldilocks job.

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to PassingTheDuckTest]

Omg I know that too. I did it for 15 years and I think that’s why I got burnt out. But comparing the two; I’d pick the work stress. I was literally drowning everyday in high depression and anxiety constantly up and down. Try part time! That’s what I’m doing and it’s reception so I’m not overly stressed. People with mental illness can’t do too much and can’t do nothing. We have to find this balanced medium somehow. X

[PassingTheDuckTest in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

The problem is that I do skilled work. The last job I had had challenges having largely to do with work load. I was supervising the production of a single part for a jet engine. This was a large part worth over $100k each, and I had to get eight of them delivered a month. This was a very large piece of titanium and I had to troubleshoot mistakes that were made in processing to avoid scraping a part that was worth more than I made in a year. This was made more difficult by management second guessing my every decision, and having to organize a large amount of data. Organization is difficult due to some ADD. I am a very skilled person, but the demands of this job exceeded my abilities, and I performed poorly. I was on salary and they would berate me if I spent less than 10 to 11 hours on the job. This was with a fifty mile commute each way. I cracked, and was getting suicidal. I gave notice and quit. My supervisor was sympathetic and told me I could use him for a reference.

For me a Goldilocks job would be to go back to the shop floor as a machinist, which I had been before, and was good at it. I have applied for some, but the one interview I had the guy was honest that he would have trouble trusting someone who had been away from the trade as long as I have, and was not familiar with the newer controls. I would have to train on more powerful consoles than they had when I was doing it, and he could not pay twenty bucks an hour unless I was "turnkey". Becoming a greeter at Walmart would be a massive blow to my ego that would be worse than what I had just gone through.

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to PassingTheDuckTest]

Dude, JUST reading what you do gave me anxiety lol 😂 You are obviously a very smart and hard worker. But if it’s too much, it’s OK to do something beneath you. I was a Senior Meeting Planner before this little shit paying receptionist job lol. It was a blow to my ego but I’m so much happier! You gotta do what is going to balance you out. At this point with our mental illness, we gotta do whatever it is that will make us happy!!