It’s been a while

[Loki1018]

Hello there,

I been MIA for a while a lot has happened I ended up going on what probably was one of my worst manic episodes to date. I did some things I am not proud of and I even ended my 6 year relationship all while manic. Now that I am stable once again or somewhat at least I’m am slowly cleaning up the mess I have caused Jesus as I look back at the episode it was like a category 5 hurricane is all I can compare it too.

But I’m am taking it one day at a time, I just wished I could have caught myself and slowed down or at least thought before I acted.

It is 2019 and now I am focused only about what is good for me, I have to although I am out of that storm ⛈ there are days though where it is dark and rainy and hopeless but I do my best to try and get through it.

Most of us are on meds and are getting treatment but remember we are allowed to have some bad days just because we take a pill for this and that everyday doesn’t meant it’s always going to mean it’s going to be a good day.

[Kat63]

I saw this online the other day:

“It’s OK to be not-OK.”

[Loki1018 in reply to Kat63]

Yes that is right. And I have learned that now especially after having one of the worst manic episodes ever, I have experienced some bad depression episodes but not so much mania.

I also learned that just because I take meds doesn’t mean that I’m supposed to be ok everyday all day.

[kenster1 in reply to Kat63]

so true that was a post of mine as well with that phrase.

[flutelover]

Hi. I can relate. I do not have manic episodes, but my anxiety took over my life the past year and a few months (due to some legitimate life upheavals and stresses). But I didn't handle it well and only made things worse. And I spiralled down and down over and over again. Now I am finally stable and trying hard to keep my anxiety in line and pick up the pieces of my broken life. Some days I feel despondent and others I am more hopeful. I am working with counsellors and that has helped a lot. And on my worst days I try hard to believe what others tell me (that it will get better (because my brain sometimes won't believe it). So I trust that others are right. It feels good to finally feel like I am making progress - but sometimes I am overwhelmed with guilt and regrets. But I am still here and fighting hard to take steps toward a full recovery eventually (although I will always have to manage my anxiety disorder).

It sounds like we are at a similar place and making progress. That is all we can do.

Thanks for sharing.

[Loki1018]

Yes does sound a lot like we are on familiar grounds. I hope my sharing has shed some light that you don’t walk this path a lone. Is that your only diagnosis? I am diagnosed with depression,anxiety, and bipolar 1. Do you take any meds for your anxiety and depression? If you don’t mind sharing that info. Besides my meds I also do take CBD gummies and I really like them a lot especially over my anxiety meds because it is very hard for me to shake it off especially when I have to wake up at 5:30am for work and I do find that they do help but when I need something a little more extra with a punch then I go to my anxiety meds.