simply too much

[GrayGoose66]

I’m so tired. Tired of being held hostage by my mind. I don’t even have to strength to find my fake happiness and put it on today. Hearing I’m on the maximum dosage of my meds doesn’t help either. Shouldn’t I feel better? Less dark? I’m just so tired.

[sh0526]

I’m sorry you are feeling this way today. I too have been struggling this morning with my anxiety. It is hard to function when you feel this way. Have you asked your doctor about a different medication? Maybe an extra medication that can give you immediate relief on top of your current prescription? Do you perhaps have a therapist as well? I read that also exercise and meditation are great tools, so I’m going to start those soon. I hope you feel better soon. Just know you have this page with everyone here to help and support you.

[Hidden]

I love your words about being to exhausted to put on your fake happiness, like it’s a piece of clothing. I skip that outfit many days as well. But, finding the strength to put it on can sometimes lead to the real deal taking over. Like it kind of sets you up for success without you even knowing it. I would check with your doc about your meds since you are at max dose. Perhaps you might need to switch to something else. They all work differently for each person and finding the right one is so important but takes tremendous patience, I know. Be well, and hang in there! ❤️

[BrownPaperTowel]

Those are valid feelings sister and I've been there more than once. For me what helps is recognizing that that voice isn't good for me. The voice that tells me ahhhhhhhh one more slice of pizza, or ahhhhhh maybe I should buy a case of white claws and party by myself and play video games all weekend alone.

Whereas it's perfectly normal and okay to succumb to those desires (occasionally), I have found some strength in discipline. The results of weight loss for me have given me more confidence. The days I stay sober and don't succumb to getting drunk or doing nothing but smoking weed for a week straight feel like a victory.

Give yourself some credit, everyone fails, everyone falls off the wagon, most of us who have mental health issues have sexual dysfunction of some sort, everyone has days where they feel like the world is against us.

None of that matters though if you get back up every time. You can't be a failure if you never stop trying. You may not always get what you want or expect, but if you keep at it good things ALWAYS come down the line.

Hope any of this helps. Stay strong sister!

[GrayGoose66]

Thanks for your encouragement. It does help.

[Hope4me1]

I understand what you are going through. I don’t know how long you have been on your meds or what they are but I have been on a few and for me anyways meds were never a cure all. They just give me a leg up to deal with life. Through therapy and working through your thoughts and finding that warm place, that safety and that feeling of contentment is where you want to be. It can be hard to find especially for me right now at this time in my life getting older and seeing both of my parents pass and my family all getting older. Life changes as we move into our phases.

Reach out to others. You are welcome to chat with me anytime.❤️

[Pitalife]

I'm in same boat and caregiving my very needy mom,it's rough time year, trybto NOT WATCHBTV.. it's negative commercials are subliminal n cause depression, try to read good books or movies on YouTube etc that aren't bombarded w negative medical commercials w cancer and camp lejune etc..it's very toxic many just sit and watch TV it's caustic.i got rid my TV ions ago n don't miss it...stay sharp..

[GrayGoose66 in reply to Pitalife]

I’m sorry you know how bad I feel. Part of my issues revolve around my mom, who completed suicide a few years ago. She was not a nice person and I’ve struggled for mist of my life trying NOT to be like her. She was mad when she did it, and her note to us told us to get over it (her death). She I’ve found what I hope to be a good therapist, whom I see tomorrow. I’m taking the quick appointment as a gift from God and sign of better things to come. Prayers that your situation eases soon, too!!

[CAGgmb]

I'm in week 7 on my medical, only just starting to feel better occasionally. Sometimes it takes so long to see a difference. Could that be what's happening with you? Like you, I've been in a dark place for what feels like a long time. Maybe what you've been taking isn't working? Sometimes that happens and we have to try something else. What does your doctor say? I actually went to an ER for help a month ago. You've not alone. Good luck finding a way out.