Am I weird because...

[Volcano65]

I'm 67 years old and have never been married. I was treated violently by my father all through childhood. I remember distinctly when I was about 4 deciding to never get married because I would be safer if I stayed single. Now I regret never marrying and not having kids. But I wonder if I"m weird because I never married. I know some people think so.

[Shnookie]

you R not weird for not getting married. I have and have had friends who were never married. I’m 64 and was married for only a year. It was a hellacious marriage and I never should have married him. I adore kids and FORTUNATELY did not have a child with my BUM of an EX. I’m here 4 U.

Hugs 🤗 S😎💪

[Blueruth in reply to Shnookie]

I would have been a terrible parent. Who knows, maybe I would have adjusted but I had too much depression.

[Blueruth]

then I am weird too but so are 46% of US population (don’t know where you live live). More than 30% never married. There are many reasons for this. Mine is similar to you…psychological abuse and also independence. I wouldn’t mind a Hepburn-Tracey type relationship (sans adultery). I think…I know I would get irritated with a daily companion. Yes I sometimes wish I had done more to find someone and even now I am resistant even when I like someone. One of my demons we are not weird though.

2021 Married stats. Source us census bureau

[fauxartist]

No,... you're not weird.... I never had kids because I was terrified if anything happened to me, they would be subjected to the horrors I was as a kid. Plus... I was and probably still am a kid myself to some extent, never being able to completely get past the mental injury I was subjected to most of my life. We just are a 'different kettle of fish' my friend. We don't see the world as this; kind, happy place like Disneyland. We know the monsters that lurk in the shadows that can hurt us.... most of who were parents who did this damage to us. The same ones who should have loved us unconditionally, nurtured us, and protected us. Instead, many of us became our own caregivers... adult children. So we don't usually have the so called 'Normal' family per se as adults, because we are just different. And that's not bad, or anything to be judged... we are just surviving the best we can by doing what we need to do to get by.

[Fantasy4Ever]

You are so Not Weird! I am 47, and never married and my own thoughts make me feel so uncomfortable and weird about this at every social function and holiday…but also just regular daily settings like work and meeting people I haven’t seen in awhile.

It is really weird that our society has adjusted to at the very minimum talking openly about people with all different races and sexualities..but it still seems to be a social taboo or “oddity “ to be the old lady with cats..not kids. Yet this is foolish, we need to adjust our thinking and behaviour towards these outdated stereotypes. As another member already posted the statistics are showing more and more people simply are not getting married and/or not having kids not that they are mutually exclusive.

Whether it is by choice, or through happenstance we all should have the right to live our lives freely without feeling negatively about ourselves because of some foolish projection of what “ happiness “ is that society has simply made up…like any other fairy tale.

I say keep writing your own story!

[designguy]

As we get older and gain hindsight it's natural to look back and have some regrets over what could have been. The problem is that wisdom and hindsight are only gained by lived experiences and none of us get the option of going back in time and having a do over. The important thing to realize is that you did what you did in order to survive and protect yourself and you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. Having regrets about the past and dwelling on missed opportunities just keeps you being a victim of the past and keeps you from living and enjoying the present so be kind to yourself and let the past go. It's still possible to meet someone and get married so be open to it.