I am mentally disturbed

[Shilpa08]

I am 30yrs old and I live in India I got married 1.5 yes ago and it was a love marriage but now I don’t have any love left in me for anyone I was a free girl now I am stuck in household works which I don’t like ..I am mentally depressed as I am confused that should I stay or leave this house I need someone to talk

[Hidden]

If you believe that you would be happier out of the marriage, then you should leave. If you think that there is anything in the marriage that can be saved via counseling or better communication and you feel comfortable going that route, you can try to stay in it a little longer.

[Shilpa08 in reply to Hidden]

I am confused because everyone is nice but what if I regret leaving

[JBmom36 in reply to Shilpa08]

I was in a terrible marriage for 7 years. He verbally abused me and belittled me everyday. After seven years I finally divorced him to later find out he had just used me for my money. If you are unhappy it is never a good idea to stay. I waited because I never thought that I could survive on my own. And I wanted a baby. During labor my son nearly died (which is the reason for my obsessive worrying over my childrens health,) finally when my son was two I divorced the SOB and found the love of my life. Long story short, a loveless marriage will never last.

[Shilpa08 in reply to JBmom36]

The problem is everyone is nice even my husband but I compare my life with others and compare him with guys whom I had imagined I myself don’t know what I want as I am sacred and I think I am bad person

[JBmom36 in reply to Shilpa08]

Did you know each other long before you got married?

[Shilpa08 in reply to JBmom36]

Yes 9-10 yrs long and we shared all talk now that talks backfire me because we insult each other

[JBmom36 in reply to Shilpa08]

I am sorry you are no longer communicating. Sometimes people just drift apart. Ultimately you need to do what you feel is best and not worry about whether you are a good person in others eyes. I hope you find piece as I know the struggle behind the decision.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Shilpa08]

Best not to compare your life with others -

What do YOU want ?

Are you an unpaid servant to your in-laws ?

Is your work (cooking/house duties) your way of paying rent?

Can you and your husband afford to leave? Live together independently?

Are you on prescribed medication for your mental health ? Do you need to see your doctor to discuss your thoughts & have a medication review?

Just some thoughts / points you may or may not wish to consider.

[Mary-intussuception]

Do you have to live with your in-laws?

Could you and your husband go out somewhere and talk privately?

Could you and your husband find somewhere to live? Just the two of you?

How does your husband feel about this?

Could he ask his parents to cook? Why can't he help with all the cooking?

Surely your health and your marriage come first?

[Shilpa08 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Yes We have to live with in laws we can’t separate and I am now bored woh my husband I guess don’t know I have weird thoughts

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Shilpa08]

Why do you have to live with your in-laws?

Surely you can go out together for a long walk or to a cafe (just you and husband) and talk?

If in a public place, this may help you to talk without insults. It seems like you are both hurting ?

If you prepare yourself by telling yourself to be polite and loving in your words and think about what you want to say in advance.

Ask your husband how he thinks you can both make things better for each other ??

[Shilpa08]

See it’s very complicated here I can’t just leave the house and go what will happen to me I am scared

[Mary-intussuception]

What are you most scared of?

[Shilpa08 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

That what will be my future

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Shilpa08]

What do you want? Do you need to get safe now?

[Mary-intussuception]

You have to decide. Does your husband want to stay together?

Have you considered a trial separation?

If you leave and then decide you want to go back , would that be possible?

Living with In-laws can be difficult.

Can't you and your husband stay in your own place ?

Visit in-laws for dinner?

Do you have a mental health nurse you could speak to?