My family is so protective of stepmother and Grandma while nobody cared about mom

[Against_the_current]

Grandpa called me and said "call ur granma, it's her birthday". I called her and she was like "look what chairs ur dad and stepmom gave us. She built them". Granma was like wow, i'm like "so stepmother is the man in the relationship, how to dislike her. Stop being so charming you little....". I feel bad of them getting her in the family. I feel bad of replacing mom. I feel bad there are amazing strong yet gentle women treated like shit while granma and stepmother are princesses who look like villagers. Both granma and stepmother are masculine and rough as hell. Dear dad and grandpa, get out of the closest and get yourselves men. Stop traumatizing me and sis, sis already dresses like a boy and acts homosexual because she learn that's the only way to be accepted. I'm also a pick me girl with fluid personality, orientation and gender and i fall for total shit heads because of you, and im constantly trying to impress people and seek reassurance, which makes people hate me or think im weird. No amount of therapists could help. One phone call and i'm considering su1... But damn i don't have the guts to do it. Also i grow up with rage, and being such a people pleaser and the people that angry me have an army of adorers, i can't take it out and take this agression on myself or bottle it up till it manifests as physical illnesses, anxiety, depression, frustration. I can't even work. I can't even function. And nobody is interested in hehabilitating me. The university doesn't care. If only i had the guts to end myself. Nobody would care anyway. My half sister would replace me. Who needs a damaged broken mess like me? Probably grandparents love her and stepmother more than me and mom. Sis is playing pretend, looking like a boy but If she comes out, they will hate her. Feeling sick at night, but If she's honest she will fall out of their game. Wish i had the guts to end it. I can't live like that. Who cares? Only some people here but irl nobody

Edit : I called my other granma so i don't indulge in my su1 intention. She said my other grandparents also upseted her and i'm furious. She didn't tell me how but i assume it's the same. How can they talk about their new daughter in law to the mother of their first daughter in law? Don't tell me it's terrible, sh00t me instead

[Hidden]

Many of us come from dysfunctional families. Mine is no exception. People pleasing is exhausting and has left me suffering through years of panic attacks and depression. You cannot really please anyone properly until you please yourself first. Try to stay out of the drama, or “neutral” so to speak. I know that’s hard but families have a funny way of evolving over time and even the most troubled ones may come around with time. Your life has a purpose even if you can’t see it right now. Become the best version of yourself that you can be and try not to worry about screwed up family members. You’re here posting and getting help. That’s probably more than they are doing so be proud of yourself for that. Keep your head up and try to be grateful for something every day. ❤️