24 year old daughter

[Rangers15-]

I really have problems, feeling of abandonment, anxiety when my daughter calls my wife more. I have a lot of trouble dealing with it. I sort of feel left out. She does call me periodically like for my BD and sent me a birthday text and some other times but not like she calls my wife

I have trouble dealing with it. I need some help

[Xene]

Hi, I can relate to that. Has she always had a slight leaning to contacting her mum or is it more recent? Obviously not knowing your daughter it’s hard to comment. You could just mention it to her and how you feel or maybe you ring or text her more often for a catch up as surely she won’t ignore them? Sorry if you’ve already tried this just a thought as my daughters sometimes say “well you can always ring me” As it’s usually them who ring me as I know how busy they are, work, kids, family etc so I leave it till they’ve got time to ring and chat as I’m always free. Just a suggestion.

[Rangers15- in reply to Xene]

I sent her a text that I would like to text her or FT her more and that I missed her. Haven’t gotten response yet. She may be out

[Xene in reply to Rangers15-]

That’s great and when she does reply just say “I love chatting with you and would love to do it a bit more often.” Another thought I had was my daughter at your daughters age said it use to upset her when she rang me as I’d moan about my complex health issues and constant pain I was in as she couldn’t physically do anything to help me, so I stopped (not saying that you do that but just a thought as I’m sure she worries about you too) Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Dreamer27]

I don't know you or your daughter well enough to give a good judgement but perhaps this is perception thing. You feel left out but maybe she doesn't see a difference. Relationships take time to nurture and grow so I'd start with putting in effort. Make time and schedule phone or face time conversations once a week. Plan ahead the conversations so they're not awkward. Doesn't have to be long conversations. Maybe 10 minutes and build it weekly. By planning this and making it a habit, she knows your expectations and sees your efforts. I hope all goes well!

Also side note: I find that girls are usually closer to their dads when younger and then when we get older, sometimes we just need our moms. We go to each parent for different things. Dad's for cars, finances, protection. Mom's for comfort, empathy, and connection. Sometimes they differ depending on relationship but I wouldn't take it too personally. You have time to build a connection still.

[Against_the_current]

Hi. I'm 22 myself and i can say us some youngster girls just feel more comfortable with moms at this period. I don't think she Loves you less or doesn't want to talk to you. She's just trying to keep your opinion on her high. We daughters are really scared of what dads think about us and this often leads to being a bit avoidant