I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but writing isn't my only passion; I also love to cook. I do everything, I used to even bake my own bread, daily, literally. I haven't cooked in so long, though. I prepare simple things like sandwiches (from bread I haven't baked) or a very quick salad with literally large chunks of vegetables so that I don't spend a lot of time cutting.
For about a week now, I've been getting myself back into cooking, I made some desserts from my grandmother and took them to her, I started prepping myself a daily portion of fruits and I cook myself a substantial dinner daily and I enjoy it while watching a movie or a catching up on a show after a night out (I deliberately stopped eating when out with friends so that I can cook, just until I get the hang of it again and start cooking for myself when I have no plans of going out regularly).
I went to the supermarket and bought all the specialty ingredients I used to have, all the fresh spices I used to prepare and grind myself, all the baking ingredients and I restocked.
I also decided to make up with some family members with whom I had some disputes (I didn't accept the way they were treating my mother) and I visited them and spent half a day with them.
My next goal is to get myself back into reading. I have a book series (the Cutler Series by V.C. Andrews) that I've been wanting to read for a while as I already read the Dollanganger, Casteel, and Landry series before. I have them all in their first-edition print which is also nice.
I hope this works and I get back into a consistent lifestyle and back into my hobbies regardless the anxieties.
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Thank you! I appreciate your comment so much. Life can make us forget to do things we used to do, postpone it for a day, then a week, then it's completely off your list. I am glad you're getting back to it. I can already feel a small impact, as I was expecting it to be much harder to get back into reading, but I already started the first book in the series and I am hooked.
That's great! I just want to remind you that progress is not linear. You will take 2 steps forward and go back 1. It happens. But don't let that discourage you.
Its great that you are getting back into things you love. It really does help with the anxiety. I, too, am trying to get back into reading the classics I've missed out on. But right now Red Dead Redemption 2 is taking up my focus 😂
I see my brother focused on Red Dead too. Funny, I've never liked video games xD
I guess you're right about the linearity of progress, it happened today, I explain it in my new post (too tired to rewrite, I am sorry, really). I am just confused about how I feel about it.
Well I just replied to your post. So no need to apologize.
I've love video games since I was a kid. Something me and my dad bonded over. I guess that's why it kind of hurts now because my dad has been going thru health problems and having a gf who won't let him out of her sight. Bothers me. Because I know he would love to see this beautiful game.
Sometimes video games give me anxiety. Makes my palms sweat 😅 because I'm close to achieving a goal. Like Im trying to have the protagonist of the game go out with a certain attire because I feel he deserves it. Kind of torture 😂 but I made it happen. 😂 Nerve wracking but got it done.
All his relationships are possessive. All with the exception of my mom. My grandma (his mom) still calls my mom 😂 she still refers to her as her daughter in law.
My dad finds these damaged, immature women who hate the idea that he has a daughter before he met them.
My dad sneaks around and calls me and stuff. Without her overhearing.
But thank you for your sincerity, it's much appreciated ❤️
I know right. What’s even more strange is that my dad is in his 50s. In his younger days he would have laid down the ground rules. But now that he has gotten older and his health has been on the decline it seems that he has taken his foot off the gas so to speak. Anyways I hope you are doing well.❤️
People tend to let go of many things when they are older. My grandfather used to scold me and my aunts whenever we ordered takeout (he led a very healthy lifestyle and my aunts are close to me in age), now he just orders with us. Loneliness is a nasty beast, too, so maybe he doesn't want to grow up alone? Forgive me if I am being presumptuous. I am doing better, had better days, had worse days. Thank you. I hope you are doing well, too.
No, you hit the nail on the head. Fear of dying alone. I always envied my dad's fearlessness. He was a boxer in his youth. My dad ran away from home at 13 and lived on the streets to escape an abusive home. I wanted his super power. That's how I saw. My dad has gotten into fist fights with complete strangers. He never knew the outcome, it could of gone either way. But he did because he hated injustice. Especially seeing an innocent child being abused.But he's also done bad things too. Things he ain't reconcile yet with. He's afraid of dying, being alone when he does go. Turns out my dad does get anxious too. I don't know how to feel about that. I guessed that makes him more human. But at the same time it's sad. That's one thing in life that don't prepare you for is when your parents/grandparents get old.
I had a rough day today. My emotions got the better of me. But I'm okay now. 🙂
Your father is literally a fighter, and it is a tiring thing. So maybe he just wants to rest now, or he has no energy even if he doesn't want to rest? I like you for not giving up on him yet. I dislike how the sanctity of parents is dying.
I hope you are better today I hope it's all okay and I am here if you want to talk about it.
Yeah I suppose my dad is. He's lived a tough life. He's done terrible things in his life. But I guess you gotta when you grow up in that kind of environment.
What I thought was interesting was that my dad apologized to me for the anxiety. He said I got it from him and he said he was sorry about that. Technically I got it from both parents 😂
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Interesting piece of nerdy stuff about Depression...
What should I do to heal? 
I am practicing strength And healing
A piece of my life.
Just trying to breathe
