Hi, it’s me again… for two days I had a really peaceful time with my husband but today again everything is my fault… He is making a fuss about everything I’m saying to the point I thought that maybe I’m saying too much or wrongly… I always thought I can say anything in his presence and now he is talking like someone who overgrowth me… maybe he did… maybe I am left behind and he is more conscious I don’t know anymore… he is talking about that he is free and I’m too controlling because I told him that I don’t want him to use a phone because we were heading to our date… he was angry with me because he told me that he doesn’t care what I’m doing with the phone… what worse I know that he is texting a girl from his job, he likes her, he told me that before… do you think it’s ok and I’m overreacting? He told me he isn’t only mine and that he is not a toy… and sometimes the next day he is asking me to never leave him… and then he is talking about leaving me… I’m sorry… I’m so stressed about it… I just don’t know if I’m stupid little wife who has a more mature husband or maybe I’m talking nonsense or maybe I’m too controlling…
Please advice!
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From your previous post and this one I don’t feel as though you are controlling or less mature than him . He just wants things that are different from you now and seems to me he is making you feel as though you are always at fault which does not seem to be the case from what you have explained . People can grow apart in marriages and sometime it takes time to asses the things that you once wanted or how things used to be are no longer that way . I’m not saying divorce is the key, I’m just saying to think about if your values still align and if you feel valued and respected in your relationship .
I am experiencing similar issues. I am always at fault etc. I am re- examing my role in this looking at codependency again. However if unfaithfulness arose I would be concerned enough to take action . My first husband had a pornography addiction. In causal ways it resulted in his death .I know see there was no way to stop or help him.
pretty difficult question of yours ! There are two things I am sure of
- in a couple, never one nor the other is 10 0 % right nor wrong
- you or he may be in a bad today and a better one tomorrow.
Every time you begin have such argument, whatever the topic, ask him and you a question : " What do you expect off of this discussion ?" And be as fair as possible, you will at no doubt see that the trigger is not the bullet, and solve things.
This is communication, the magic key to any and everything.
You may feel lost, but you deserve not to be. You are a human, as he is, and we make mistakes. We all do.
Stay happy, speak and speak again and again, things are going to get better with words than they are with violence.
thank you for your advice… I’m afraid he lost his interest in me, attraction… it’s like living with two him, one whom I know and love and the second whom I don’t understand, who can easily said hurtfull words and blaim me
Did you try to tell him how you feel and how you would like to feel. Then ask him how he feels and how he would like to feel.
Use the same strategy as for arguments, "what do we want to achieve after this discussion ?" is a question that can be used in many aspects of life, from couple relationship to shopping !
I’m again in trouble… I feel lost, so lost.. maybe my husband is right and I’m mental. He said that I said my therapist about him and not about me… that I’m a problem. And that he will not go again there
he said that he accepted not having much sex during the last ten years and that he knows that it affected him and that I should accept it as well that he won’t me anymore… when I told him that I want to find solution he said that it will be better to just leave it… and I know that we have not problem with sex but more that this is his argument in every discussion… I am feeling so down and unstable so miserable like the last idiot or pathetic human being
Manipulating you. Just saying... Texting another woman is never ok. He is manipulating the situation back on you to defer the real issue. Stop blaming yourself.
Not judging, just check with professionals. I have Bipolar and PTSD and I know I tend to have relationships where I try too hard for approval and wind up frustrated and alone. Talk to someone about your motivations as well.
That being said, asking your husband not to text another woman when you are going out is not "controlling." It is completely normal. And why would he tell you he liked her. Get off the drama train. You are too good for that.
Sorry to say but It sounds like you are dealing with an abusive narcissist husband and you need to find another safe place to stay and get out of the relationship. It's highly likely that your husband could end up becoming violent and physically abusing you. It's also highly likely that he won't change so you need to take the steps to protect yourself. You are also probably somewhat codependent and would really benefit from learning about it and how to heal that part of you and improve your self-esteem/self-worth. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost and get to a safe place and get help.
Hi guys, just wanted to tell you that my therapist told me I’m fine, mentally healthy.. I am just exhausted and that I need meds to calm my nerves.. he told me that my husband may be bipolar and he must be diagnozed if it’s this or something less serious because I had to have clarity and that I should take care of myself. He also told me to tell someone from my family or friends just to have support and if nothing change I have to take child and find a new place for us two…
Sounds like good advice from your therapist. Your husband may be bipolar but it doesn't matter if he is still abusive to you and your child, especially if he won't get help and change. Please take care of yourself and your child.
according to my therapist I said my husband how I feel when he is texting this girl, he told me that it’s work related but because I doubt him he feels like he wants more from this girl because of me.. he started crying telling me that I want him dead, that I don’t respect his feelings and I told him about how I feel so he said that he will not tell me how he feels because I don’t care about him… I am again feeling guilty.. he told me that he wants nothing from me, sex especially and that is No difference from our past.. I didn’t tell nothing about sex or my social contacts and he was talking about everything again… I just told him that I am jealous and hurt, he made jokes at first and then cried…
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Why can’t this anxiety LEAVE me alone! 
I can’t stop crying 
i can’t accept the way things are
Can’t snap out of this phase
