Significant other does not understand anxiety

[Keys33]

Hello all,

I'm new to the group and just hoping to find some support. I have been in a relationship for over a year and we now live together. I have realized my anxiety is making me create wild stories in my head and has made me struggle to trust him even though he hasn't done anything to provoke this. He has expressed to me that it is starting to wear on him. It breaks my heart to feel that this crippling anxiety is causing such much strain in the relationship. He thinks that anxiety is a choice and I need to choose not to react. Believe me I have tried that so hard. It's not that he hasn't been very supportive, I just know he's getting sick of it. Has anyone successfully navigating through this and found a way for it not to ruin the relationship?

[Agora1]

Hi Keys33... it is difficult for anyone who hasn't suffered with anxiety to truly understand

what it is like for us. It is difficult to explain something that others can't see. After a while,

they get perturb as to why it never goes away. And so we end up getting blamed for just not

reacting to it. Easier said than done.

As for the trust issue, I don't feel that is an anxiety thing but more of a woman's (or man's)

low self esteem as in who they are. The more we act out in a negative manner the further

we push our partner away.

Anxiety may have power over us but we are in charge of our emotional status in a

relationship. Good Luck in going forward and with your career. I'm glad to Welcome

you to this amazing support group. xx

[Keys33 in reply to Agora1]

thank you for your response!

the only reason I say it's anxiety is because I create wild scenarios in my head and then feel the panic coming on. And it's almost impossible to stop it. It's not even necessarily that I believe it always, but it keeps playing over and over and before I can stop it it has made me sick. I physically feel incapable of calming myself down and shutting off all the wild scenarios.

[saltysunshine]

Welcome! It’s only been about a week here, but it’s one of the best choices I’ve made. I hope you find peace in knowing anyone here is there for you. If you need help this is the best place to be. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to me because I’m here for you!

[designguy]

Hello and welcome to the group. You don't mention if you are getting therapy for you anxiety but it's something you might consider. There have been a lot of posts on this site about treating anxiety and if you want I can let you know what has worked for and helped me. The unfortunate reality is that relationships are like a mirror and usually bring out our own issues as well as those of our partner for both of us to work on. Anxiety can cause you to blow things totally our of proportion and go to extremes to hide your anxiety so getting help would definitely benefit you.

[Keys33]

Thanks for your reply!

I actually have been in therapy for over 2 years now. Unfortunately can't afford it as much as I probably need it though. It's just frustrating because I feel like im taking all the steps and working really hard, but doesn't seem to be making a difference. And then that makes me depressed, which makes the relationship harder. I just worry that I'm not able to give as much attention as he may want and eventually that will make him unhappy and want more.

[AnxiousSilver]

"He thinks that anxiety is a choice"

Seeing this frustrates me, but sadly I get it.

My family, (even though there's a TON of mental illness in my family tree) understands physical pain, but not mental.

.

That's why I am here, because I badly need an outlet that understands mental pain.

& I am very grateful for this community.