In the past few weeks i've experienced all kinds of feelings because i've failed my medical admission test. Since i was just a little girl I've always wanted to become a doctor and be helpful to other people and it hurt me when i discovered that, at least for this year, i had to give up my dream. that's why i've been trying to figure out what to do with my life the past few days, but the more i think about the more i feel confused and i can't make up my mind about to do. i want to find a job so i can be more financially indipendent but i want to do something that really satisfies me and makes me want to get up in the morning. right now i don't have any purpose and i guess that' why i've be feeling a little lost. i would also like to move away from my hometown so i can finally get over all the bad memories i've lived there (or at least i can forget them). my parents are also putting me under pressure and of course that's not helpful at all. on top of everything else there's also a boy, that i like very much but he's much older than me and he also lives in an other city, so i can't see him or talk to him as i'd like to do. i don't even know if he really likes me or he was just pretending all the time, so that is making it more complicated thant it already is.
i really want things to work out for the better, but right now i'm feeling stuck and unmotivated and i don't believe anymore in myself. everyday is harder and harder.
xx
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