My soul is tired. Wonder how to find peace!

[Bookmama20]

I have been battling my mental health since 1981. I was diagnose with depression in 2003. Anxiety in 2016 and PTSD last year. Back in 16 my girls went through some stuff, and my anxiety kicked in to over drive. The last 6-7 years have been crazy. Now that I am on a journey of healing, I find myself in the Freeze stage and stuck. I have been struggling since Spring. A lot of it is my job that causes me stress daily!

I don’t want to live like this. I may be strong in some eyes, but I’m tired. My heart, my mind, my soul is tired. Through out all of this I have been educating myself. Looking for coping skills, figuring out why I do what I do sometimes. I have come to the realization that why I am on this journey of healing my soul craves peace! I find comfort in a store that plays Tibetan bowl sound baths and very calming sounds! I see people in Hinduism, Buddhism religions seeming at peace, at harmony. I have seen spiritual(Reiki, Crystal work etc.) They all have this softness, almost reverence, and a calm that I would love to achieve!

I participated in a partial hospitalization program and our state’s psychiatric hospital this past spring. It ran 9-3. I got a lot out of it. Thrived on the structure. I am about to start another for trauma. I have come to realize that “technically “ I was a victim of childhood neglect.

Add in that I am in perimenopause, they are trying to play with my medication to see what works, I am also a Mom with 2 adult daughters that don’t need me as much, are rarely home. I am trying to adjust to that, and to figure out who I really am. Been married 26 years. My oldest is 23, youngest is 21 and I’m 51. Half my life I have been a mom and a wife.

Does anyone have any thoughts, books that will help me be at more peace? I feel so lost right now! Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

[bethelbee]

I haven't seen it yet but NAMI just put out a book called You Are Not Alone that sounds good. May be worth checking out. I think you can get it through their website. Also Thich Nhat Hanh, who was a Vietnarese monk wrote some great books, some on peace and minfulness.

I hope things get better for you!

[Bookmama20 in reply to bethelbee]

I bought it after seeing your recommendation. Haven’t started it yet but plan to soon!

[bethelbee in reply to Bookmama20]

Let me know how it is!!

[Scarlet-yoga]

I have also found Tara Brach books, talks and meditations helpful. At 70 I am still struggling. Finally retired from a career in software development. I spent my whole life in survival mode feeling not good enough. Now I hope to learn how to love myself and let go of fear. Never give up.

[Bookmama20 in reply to Scarlet-yoga]

I will have to look in to her Thank you!

[Hidden in reply to Bookmama20]

Tara Brach is great. She’s on YouTube.

[bethelbee in reply to Scarlet-yoga]

Love Tara Brach. My therapist had recommended her to me.

[Hidden]

This is going to be offbeat but I like to listen to Joanna the Healer on YouTube. She’s very calming. And I like the talks Matt Kahn gives on YouTube as well. He’s also written a few interesting books.

[StardustHunter7]

Im.. honestly feeling the same way. Books really help me escape. That being said, I'm sorry I don't really have words of encouragement for you. I wish I did. I don't know you, but God I hate that I feel that way and wouldn't wish it on someone else. Do you have Wattpad? It is a phone or tablet app, it's free. For books. I highly recommend The Runner on Wattpad. ❣️

[Bookmama20 in reply to StardustHunter7]

Thank you so much! Yes books are my escape too! Kindle Unlimited is my BFF. I used to write as well but my anxiety brain has blocked my writer’s mind! I miss it though!