my depression starts to peak the week of my birthday, which is coming up.
I think that when I think about my birthday, I think about all the birthdays where I wanted certain people to celebrate with me and they never came. Ive had some good ones, but the feeling of betrayal just stuck the most. So now I associate my birthday with no one giving a crap and with feeling let down by the people I wanted and needed the most.
I’ve always been a loner, but it hits hard when you actually reach out and no one cares enough to reach back.
I’ve decided to spend my birthdays in my room because last year I made plans to commit suicide the night before my birthday so this is just safer :/
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keepinitrealat3am
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I hope this birthday is your best. I have had similar birthdays where it seemed nobody cares, especially in more recent years. Most of my friends are older, and many of them have passed on now. This can also make for lonely birthdays. If you feel like you cannot be around anybody for your birthday, perhaps you could be creative and make it a special day for yourself? Try to visualize something you can enjoy, and do it. Self worth a lot of times can start on the inside. Just a thought.
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