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I need help

celestw profile image
11 Replies

I need some advice, i’m 20 years old and i don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I hate ever single job i’ve had/have, i genuinely go into work miserable every single day. My mom is pressuring me to work a job that she wants me to work at but i don’t want to do that, tbh every single job sounds absolutely miserable. I genuinely don’t know what to do and i feel like a failure. Everyone else at my age i feel like is so successful and doing so many big things but i just wake up every day depressed without even an ounce of motivation to do anything, when i was younger i had so many passions and i felt like i had something going for me, but as i got into my 20s i don’t even know what i like anymore and i’ve lost interest in all things that used to make me happy. I don’t know what to do, i don’t wanna keep working my current job because i’m absolutely miserable there and barely get paid enough to fill my gas tank and pay my bills. I just want to find something i love where i would be happy, not a job my mom wants me to do for her own sake..but i don’t know what i want. I’m genuinely so unhappy with my life. Does anyone have any advice?

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celestw profile image
celestw
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11 Replies
Call_me_anything profile image
Call_me_anything

Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Never helped anyone tbh. We are here for you. We listen and we care

Call_me_anything profile image
Call_me_anything

Everyone's different

bowJim profile image
bowJim

It is tough finding the right path for work I agree, I feel your fustration, peer pressure and confusion can all add to mood and depression, I know where you are, trying to find harmony,

I have in the past provided mentoring to groups and individuals out of work or looking for work, very interesting work, a lot of us have exactly the same thougths as you, yet may be do nothing about it and sail on, sometimes locked in a job due to income and family commitments or pressures, making it difficult to change careers.

The programme I delivered starts by helping you to understand who you are, what you like, what you are naturally adaptable with, this is the key to success in my opinion. Like if you are a chatty outgoing person and can easliy handle conflict, think of your feet, you may like dealing with the public, If your are not, this can be a nightmare.

Here are a couple of websites we used to help people understand who you are and importantly what you like, what your core strengths, like natural talents and abilities, you will have them believe me, most people play themselves down, then find out they are better than they thought.

Once you get a picture of what your core skills are, you can start to believe yourself, like not doubt you are no good, or think you are better than you really are, in some situations, get you on the right path.

Some of the site give you examples of careers that match your profie to the type of work and this is helpful too, the website aim to build your confidence and self esteem, try a few, get to know yourself.

Thing is once you know you are a good talker, or good listener, or what ever your best results are you can apply these skill to different sectors of industry, so like a customer service advisor can work from a supermarket, leisure industy, healthcare, you name it the options are endless.

Not sure if you are in the UK, but the nationalcareers.service.gov... in the UK has a skills assessment, try the icould.com/buzz-quiz/ website this is good too. best wishes.

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth

I’m thinking you just learned 99% of jobs aren’t glamorous. The ones that are take work and luck to get there. Even with luck you still have to work. There’s a super hero movie guy who answered Craig’s list ads for acting gigs. You still have to start at the bottom. Finding out what you don’t like is actually good. If you are in the US this is probably the best market you will ever see. Find some temp jobs. Volunteer for something or more than one thing. Think of it like dating. I know more than one person that discovered their calling this way.

I know someone who is 25. Expected to go to college for engineering and make a bucket load of money. Didn’t make it past first semester. Getting kicked out was the best thing for him AND his parents! Took a job at Dairy Queen. He didn’t poo poo it. He got promoted to the office. Now he has three careers in the making and he is going to community college. One is actually still in the restaurant business. No doubt he loved making blizzards all day 🙄

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

celestw, 20 is still very young to know what you really want in life.You are your own person. Too many times our mothers want us to follow

their dream/passion but if it isn't yours, you will be unhappy and unfulfilled.

My own mother had a different path for me to pursue but it wasn't for me.

I tried but life isn't about making someone else happy but finding your own

happiness. Working is a part of surviving and how nice when we find something

that gives us the incentive to put out the energy each day.

Blueruth is right in that working for a temporary agency at your young age can allow

you some direction in what you like and what you would hate doing 40 hours a week.

I went against my mother's wishes and have never regretted a day of it. I've worked

as well as volunteered in my field and many times worked 7 days a week. That's passion.

Don't give up on yourself. Believe in that one day, the light will go on as to what and where

you want to go. Follow that dream. Wishing you good fortune :) xx

celestw profile image
celestw

thank you for all of the advice and kinda messages, it’s appreciated so much genuinely 🙏🏽

dontforgetme profile image
dontforgetme

First I don't think that comparing yourself to others is a good thing although just look around and follow your feelings what you like who you like.

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13

I would highly recommend you do not compare yourself to anyone else, ever. No one else is ever going to see life through your eyes or have the same experiences. You still have a lot of time to figure things out, ease up on pressuring yourself and focus on what you DO enjoy.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

I agree with the others. Try not to compare yourself to anyone else. You are unique, there is only one you.

My advise is to steer clear of what someone else is telling you to do. My mother did the same and it was not out of kindness, it was out of control. She never had my best interest in mind.

You will find your way. Write down some things you have a passion for. Break them down and start small.

🐬

Calyps profile image
Calyps

Do you enjoy being with animals? If you do maybe a job interacting with them would be good. Many people with anxieties and/or depression get the benefit of the comfort animals give them while working in this field.

Volunteering is also a great way to try different fields and learn of jobs in them.

Try not to stress over this. Instead try to see it as an adventure.

Diamond99 profile image
Diamond99

Hey it’s nice to meet you so I have anxiety and depression which is not always easy so I can understand how you are feeling I took another job last June and only got to work 2 months and they just let me go and I just felt like I was not good enough it was hard but what I wondered is what do you enjoy doing like me I enjoy working with kids are you good with people there are a lot of different types of jobs and I know that you will find the right one for you it’s just all about what you like like animals, kids, office setting if you need a friend or just someone to talk to I am here for you

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