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Anxiety and Depression Support
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I need help or advice..

Ok, so I know I'm paranoid that someone is watching me and it usually doesn't bother me cause I'm used to the feeling. But lately I have been so tense and looking behind me a lot. I get the tense feeling in my back like someone is looking at be or is behind me and my body knows. Being tense and having to look behind me all the time and seeing things and even smelling thing that aren't there is bothering me bad. I need some help or advice please.

~Sky

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Does your school have a counseling department? I know from your earlier posts you said someone told you that somebody was thinking about attacking you, so it's understandable to be afraid for that reason. But you really need to talk about what's going on in your mind with a counselor or therapist. It would do you a world of good.

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I've been paranoid since I was 11. But it's never been this bad. And I tried to talk to the counselor at school but she wasn't helpful and didn't care. Plus I'm moving schools and that threat was last year and was token care of. So I don't think it should bother me still, would it?

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You have to ask your self this question: Is my illness keeping me from living a normal life? If it's just a minor nuisance, then maybe you can get along just fine. But it doesn't sound like that from your post. I think you really need to see a therapist about this. I'm sorry about the lousy one from your school, but they're not all like that.

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I moving to a new school so maybe this one will be better. If you don't mind me asking, what does my post sound like in your point of view cause I'm still lost in what I write. If you understand what I'm saying.

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I'm not a doctor, but I think you have it figured out pretty well. It's either a flat-out anxiety disorder, or maybe there is a bit of paranoia involved. I have no training in this field, so I won't say any more about it.

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Thanks. :)

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oh sorry you're feeling this! I maybe don't have advice for this topic for now but I'm sure others in here will! but maybe try taking some deep breaths and telling yourself some good thoughts to counteract the bad 1's- posative affirmations like -"it's ok it'll be alright!" hugs to you💞☺️

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Thank you, Its the thought that counts. :)

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I'm sorry to hear what you're going through Sky. Even if you know it's all in the mind, it's still can be unsettling. The mind can be your best friend......or your worst enemy. But knowing it isn't real is half the battle! Definitely, if you have a therapist you see regularly, tell them what you're experiencing. Sometimes, writing in a journal or drawing can be a therapeutic medium to work through what your mind is experiencing. But, if you really feel this is keeping you from calming down, you can try this routine I use when I'm experiencing an anxiety attack:

1. Find a place in your house where you feel safe.

2. Make the room as dark (or as light) as you can until you feel safe and secure.

3. Put on some soothing music. Something that can help to relax you. (For example, smooth jazz has a very mellow, soft melodic tone that can be very soothing in it's own way).

4. Sit (or lay down) in a position that is comfortable and relaxing.

5. Close your eyes and think of a happy thought. It can be any thought that makes you feel happy. Let that thought be your anchor until the paranoid feelings begin to subside.

6. (Optional) Make yourself something to drink that you find relaxing (ie. warm milk or hot chocolate or hot/iced tea).

If you feel like that doesn't help and that you think you're going into crisis mode, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255. Even if you're not feeling suicidal, they can stay on the line with you and talk you through what you're experiencing until you begin to feel better. We all want you to feel better, Sky. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need any of us!

Your friend,

Brian :)

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Thanks Brian. I've tried doing drawing but I start getting frustrated with it. I'll try that routine. :)

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It's ok Sky! :) It doesn't have to be a perfect drawing. Even if it's just a long doodle. lol Or "touching up" a photo in a magazine (for example, drawing a mustache on a model lol). Think of it as goofy graffiti. lol The key is that it helps you to relax and to take your mind off of those paranoid thoughts. Sometimes, a little distraction can go a long way :)

Keep smiling Ace! I'm here for ya! :)

Brian :)

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Thanks :)

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Anytime Sky! :) I got your back ;)

B :)

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Morning Sky! I hope you're feeling better this morning. I've read and reread what you've been posting and I came to a realization. Now, bear with me, I'm going to have a 'Yoda' moment (yes, as in Star Wars Yoda lol). Now, I should also point out, if you feel I'm missing the mark at any point of what you're going through, please tell me. When you have all the things happen that have happened to you, it can build resentment in you. Resentment can then turn into anger, which in turn can lead to hatred in even the good things in life. If you've seen the Star Wars movies, you know what is usually said next lol. It can lead to the 'Dark Side' lol. But this is something to remember. You don't have to go down that road, Sky. Probably, the hardest thing is to acknowledge what you've gone through and to accept that it has happened. Past tense. Yes, it happened. Was it right? Of course not. Did you deserve to go through it? Absolutely not! But, for whatever reason, it did happen. And yet, in spite of what you've gone through, you've come through it in amazing shape! Yes, you have periods where the depression, paranoia and self-doubt will spike. That's normal, even in people who haven't gone through what you have. And as far as those people who have hurt you goes, as a quote say: "What goes around, comes around." Karma will see it to it that they get exactly what they deserve. It may not happen right away, but believe me, it will happen. So, left me leave you, Sky, with a question. Are you going to let the actions of a few stupid, immature and clueless people ruin your life now and your future? Because that is where the depression, paranoia and anxiety get their strength from. If you let those people's actions weigh on you, it will lead to resentment, anger and hatred, and yes, possibly the 'Dark Side'. Or, you can acknowledge what has happened, accept that it did happen, even though you didn't deserve any of it, and let it go. You are a really good person, Sky. Never let anyone tell you different. You have so much to offer this world.

"Hate is always foolish.....and love is always wise."

-The Twelfth Doctor (Peter Capaldi), Doctor Who (2017)

Your friend,

Brian :)

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Morning Brian. I didn't get any sleep last night so I fell asleep early this morning. I feel better than I did yesterday. Has for you Yoda moment (Which was very helpful) and question. I don't want to let them ruin my life. I think that's why I'm trying to go into the military than become a Children Cancer Doctor cause I love children. They are the peace I find. I think I have acknowledge it has happened but where I didn't have help when it happened and didn't know how to cope with it. I only know the anger and hate of it. I don't want to go to the 'Dark Side' as you call it. Cause I know that will or could turn me into a bitch person who could accidently hurt someone like I've been hurt and I wouldn't want that. I know I can't be the kid I once was cause of what happened but I still want to find her again and be her with knowing all that happened just made me into a better person. A lot of people have brought me down in the past even without them knowing. So Thank you Brain. For helping me back up. :) I needed that. The only problem is I don't know how to deal with it in any other manner but the hate and anger.

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Afternoon Skylar :) Sorry you didn't sleep well last night. Hopefully you can get some decent sleep tonight. I know that this is a lot to take in and that it can seem overwhelming at times. Sometimes all you can do is to take each day as it comes. Forget about yesterday, because it's already gone and you can't change it. Tomorrow is a blank slate, and you can make it as good or as bad as you want. :) And I'm sure you'll find the kid in you again. She may a little off the beaten path, but she's not lost. She just went on a little adventure. As for dealing with/or coping with what you've gone through, there are a multitude of ways that can help you to cope and come to terms with your past. I'll say this now, so you don't get discouraged, it's not gonna happen overnight. Or next week. Maybe even not in the next year. But it will happen. It's gonna take some work and fighting the symptoms every day, but believe me, it's all worth it in the end. And Skylar, I'll let you in on a little secret I've learned along the way. Sometimes the hardest, and the easiest, thing to do is to let go of the anger and the hatred. I know that sounds a little confusing. Yes, of course it's hard to let go of what happened. But it's also far easier to let it go when you put it in it's proper perspective. What happened is in the past. You can't go back and change it or stop it. It is what it is. Holding onto it just lets the people who hurt you have control over your life. And as you said, some of them didn't even know they were hurting you. In a year or two, most of them will probably have forgotten that they ever did it. Why should you suffer and carry that burden when those who hurt you have already forgotten about it? It's not worth your time, effort or energy to hang onto it. If going out into the forest and yelling at the top of your lungs for 15 minutes (or however long you wish to do it) helps in letting go of that anger, then by all means, yell away! It's all up to your imagination. :) What helps some to cope and move past things that have happened may not work for you. What winds up working for you may not work for others. Myself and the rest of the community can offer suggestions, but in the end, it's what works best for you. As always, I am here if you need someone to bounce ideas off of. And as you can see, I can get a little long winded lol. Have a great rest of the day Sky! I have faith in ya :)

Your friend,

Brian :)

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:) Thanks Brian.

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Anytime Ace! :)

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