Treatment

[Afy355]

Hi.

A few days ago I attempted suicide. I've cut myself, although it's a surface wound. I've been trying to do small steps and listen to advices, people, I have a psychotherapist, a few psychiatrists, hypnosis... but it feels like nothing, absolutely nothing helps. I can't understand feelings. Weed was actually the only thing that made me feel a little bit alive. And that's also the thing that brought me to a mental hospital. I'm there right now. I'm not hopeless, I can't be. But my mental state, energy, motivation, will, are quite low. What I felt yesterday was a little bit of peace. A little bit and I think this is what I need right now. I'm writing here, because I want to know if anyone knows of any medical pills that can help you calm down your mind? I currently have antidepressants and 3 antipsychoticts. They are at the highest dose (for 4 years now).

Thanks, Tim

[101315]

Thank you for sharing that story. You must be in a terrible spot to think suicide is your best chance to escape. That is scary. I wish I knew what I could do or say to give you some peace of mind. I also have struggles with my motivation, energy and will, which of course plays a huge part on my mental health. Sometimes I get relief by just talking to others. I have tried to limit the ruminating thoughts and instead focused on the little things that bring me joy. I think I watched 6 hours of epic fail type videos yesterday. You gotta do what makes you happy.

[Mumma_h in reply to 101315]

I wish I had an answer for , but I just wanted to say I’m so glad you’re still here on this earth , I cried when I read your post , because I know how low a person has to be not want to be here . Just a msg from my heart and a prayer for you 💕 oh and p.s i had extremely severe depression for many years and somehow I’m happy again ( well mostly ) . Please have hope , if I can get there anyone can . I can only put it down to a miracle because I don’t really know how.

[Stippler]

Hi Tim - First, I am glad you are still with us. I have attempted suicide and been hospitalized more times than I can count. I hope what I have to say here is okay and not breaking any rules. My intent is to just share my own experiences, hopefully for your benefit. Like you, I felt "more alive" by smoking pot. But, it landed me in the mental institution numerous times. After 7 years of using marijuana, I began having severe panic attacks from it, in the form of really bad chest pains. I thought I was literally dying. My psychiatrist at the time started me on tranquilizers which helped in the short term, but they also made me very very depressed. They got me so depressed in fact, I ended up in the psych ward again, several more times. It was very difficult for me to get away from those tranquilizers, but I have been free of them for 5 years now and it was the best thing I could have done. Back around 2001, I quit smoking pot for 20 or so years. The reason was it made me so paranoid my own thoughts were literally making me jump. I am not saying this is how it will affect you. Everybody is affected differently by marijuana. I know some people it seems to really help, but I have had to face the tough reality that I am not one of them. I now feel like all those years of abstaining from marijuana allowed me to grow better mentally and spiritually. When it became legal, I briefly used again, and let my doctor know about it. I thought that, now it was legal, I wouldn't be as paranoid. My psychiatrist said not to be so hard on myself for using, but to just try my best to observe the effects, good and bad, so I could give it a fair shot, and make up my own mind about it. I soon realized it was taking me back into that "old neighborhood" in my brain again. I began to realize I had been somewhat mentally and spiritually "frozen" during the years I'd been using, and it appeared I was returning to that state again. So, I stopped again. In the past few years, I have discovered other far gentler herbal items (all legal) that are much better for my anxiety, and my combination seems to work extremely well for me, without hampering me as much mentally as the pills and pot did. My psychiatrist knows about all I do, and she even recommends it because for me, it is just as effective as anxiety meds were, but without making me depressed. If you find a psychiatrist you trust, you can research better alternatives to the anxiety pills and pot. Anyway, That is my story, you can take it how you want. I wish you the best of luck.