I'm petrifired in fear of my roommate

[Against_the_current]

I cleaned, i clean every two days, same with rubbish and other stuff. And i'm terrified. Why does she hate me? My thoughts are racing. Thinking i should have stayed home. Or came here while she wasn't still in. I'm going insane. I need safety and comfort. I have nobody irl

[Against_the_current]

I just called sis to ask about some teach, just heard about mom and am having a panic attack now. I can't even see mom and dad on pictures without getting a panic attack. I'm terrified of my mom. And her behaviour triggers me. Always scared If she drinks. Scared of dad too. Scared of his judgement. Even more scared of his new family. I can't live with them. I tried. I'm terrified rn because i heard mom's reactions, thought they're weird and i'm freaking out. I'm sweating and trembling and ran to the bathroom. I can't. I can't do this. I'm dying. Grandparents judgementful and poor living coundidions. Tried to live with them. A racoon nearly bit me on the way to the toilet. Got no electricity when it was raining. 2 years tried to not live here. I think i hear her phone, can she be here?! I talked so much about her on the phone

[bethelbee]

Is there any way you can move?? You are in a toxic environment and to get out to help your mental health. You do not need to put up with this!

[Against_the_current in reply to bethelbee]

Moving out will be a lot of stress, espessially that i'm agoraphobic and would have to get used to a new place. And that i'm fatigued and packing would be hard. And i have no my own money and dad would have to pay for the new place and search for the new place

[bethelbee in reply to Against_the_current]

Is there anything that would make your living situation more tolerable since it would be difficult for you to move?? If at any time you feel your life is in danger please call the authorities. It is not safe to be liv9ng where you are.

[Against_the_current in reply to bethelbee]

Psychically am safe but emotionally

[Against_the_current]

I can't find a safe place to live 😭

[bethelbee]

Is there anyone you can talk to for emotional support? Therapist/counselor, friend; are there any hotline #'s you can call for support where you are? I see you are in Bulgaria . Is there any mental health support? Am concerned about you if you don't get support.

[Against_the_current in reply to bethelbee]

I don't have support and i need it. Thanks for your concern. I can talk to my therapist earliest on 18th

[bethelbee in reply to Against_the_current]

Glad you have a therapist to talk to! Hope he/she is helpful for you!! Please keep me posted. I care..

[Against_the_current in reply to bethelbee]

I talked to her last week but still need help. Right now feeling uneasy again. Worried about sis when i'm away. She's going out with dad and his baby and she's going out with friends late when mom's (probably drunk and) asleep. I'm really worried about her, our parents one having a baby and other one drinking and i'm not there but If i'm there, i would die from anxiety litterary. Things with my roommate got better. Even If they didn't, i can't go home. But i'm worried while i'm here nobody cares about sis. But i'm getting 22 today, i deserve to live out of family and i'm too young to take responsibility for sis

[bethelbee]

Glad things with your roommate are better. Sorry there is so much turmoil in the family. You do deserve to live apart from the family. Is your sister much younger than you???

[Against_the_current in reply to bethelbee]

She's 15