hi
I have been trying to live / focus on the present moment. As that’s all we ever have right?
But I’m finding this difficult as I don’t like the present moment. Im bored in the present moment and unhappy.
tbh I don’t feel I want to be here and finding it hard
Just everything is hard
Which make me feel bad I feel this way , when other people have so many problems in their life and problems in the world
I don’t really have I reason to feel this way but I do all the same
I have good memories in my past but lots id like to forget also . Yes I guess we wouldn’t be where we where if not for our past. I don’t like where I am mentally right now.
When I figure out what I actually want I will try Thank you for your messages
I’m sad and confused
Yes only myself can change myself
I am my own worse enemy
I live in the past, evolve from the past, have some good memories, but somewhere recently lost touch with the present, and so cannot appreciate todays values and society and the future? I need a good kick up the posterior, a big change, am bored with todays values, lost in a soapy bubble, BUT a new chance, retirement which now means maybe I can move, migrate, 🤞 find..? Where🤔🤔
Good news though for you, you have realised you where in the past maybe to much and that you should try to explore new and exciting times for you. We have our good memories to remember of course.
We all have good memories to remember. I want a complete break from the past, meet new people, a different society, my present society is not good for me mentally, I have been advised medically to change, it could be very good news for me I could find a new Eldorado after so MANY years living in a society wilderness? Good Luck Tigerlilly7👍
You do what you feel is right for you! I wish you well on your new path and hope you find what you need x
May you find your 'Eldorado' at the end of your rainbow!🤗
I understand that Adlon, one of the reasons I moved from England where there were so many bad memories to Wales, where I now have a lovely bungalow with good views and just about all in need within a short distance.
Cheers, Midori
Comparison is thief of joy . Yes there are people worse off and yes there are people better off . This will always be true , but you are still allowed to feel your emotions . Emotions are giving us information about what is important to us . Instead of feeling guilty or trying to ignore the sadness , get curious about it. Ask yourself what is it that is making me feel this way , what can I change to help me feel happier .
Thank you for listening and replying I have always struggled dealing with my emotions. So I have always tried to suppress them, ignore them ect
I’m confused atm with my life and feel lost and lonely a lot
I don’t really know what I want. I do know I want to have more relationships with people. I have kept myself away from people for to long. I’m trying to make friends or talk to more people but seem to loose everyone I let walls down to and find it hard to trust others.
Sorry to but in, thats great advice from Megapanda. I really relate to your reply Tigerlilly7. I feel lonely but at the same time I have distanced myself from a lot of people.
Can I ask why you distance from people?I have social anxiety and trust issues which I feel is a big part why I keep away from people.
I have realised during the pandemic that I need more people connections but I’m not doing a good job at succeeding with this
If I'm honest I think they don't want to spare the time then why should. It's probably immature. Also I was ill a long time ago and not many friends kept in contact.
I'm not doing a good job at keeping in touch with people either. Sorry I'm not very good at explaining.
I get what your saying, I also don’t feel people want to spend time with me and that I’m bothering them, so I keep away not to bother them.They may say this isn’t the case but I think it is.
I know I’m hard to talk to and can be hard work, most people just don’t have patience with me.
I know friendship is a two way street and that I don’t always make enough effort. It’s difficult to make an effort on my part when I don’t see it lasting or then liking me. So walls go up
This is exactly how I feel. I think I'm hard work to talk to but for a different reason, I'm quite passionate, and some of the medication I take can make me more animated.
Yeah I have the walls up a lot of the time, I'm very cautious..
I would say being passionate is a good trate to have. I understand having the walls up thing
But we have to lower them to let people in 😬
They say there are the right types of people for everyone
Do you want to get closer to people?
I feel I do and don’t lol
Yeah you are right , we have to lower them. 😀
I find I am looking for people that are honest. I know this sounds obvious. But I mean people that are brutally honest, at least you know where you stand with them.I do want to get closer to people, I have tried, but I am willing to try again..
I know exactly what you mean.
Yes because if people are honest at least we know where we standI need honest people to call a spade a spade . It helps with the anxiety if I know they say it how it is
I have found most people will not say the truth though and either make up excuses or just ignore me
Don’t give up trying, I believe we meet people for a reason and that there is someone for everyone
I can relate to the trust issues. I didn't grow up with healthy safe parents so when I was thrust into the world at 18 I got involved with alot of unhealthy relationships. I am still learning today about discernment. I don't have many friends . A book that helped me was "Safe People" by Henry Cloud. Just a recommendation. I wish you the best on your road to discovery and recovery. Much love and peace.💗
Thank you for that book information.
I wish you the best also and hope all is well x
I can definitely relate to that . Do you keep a journal ? Using an emotional wheel can also help if your struggling to name what you are feeling . You can Google emotional wheel and loads with come up . Well that is a start . Do you have anyone you can open up to ? Friends or family ? Opening up to people brings you closer to them as you often can find common ground or they are also more likely to open up to you . Have you told anyone how you are feeling ? Feeling lost and alone it's alot more common feeling than you may think especially after a pandemic .
What about hobbies anything you enjoy doing ? Is there any clubs you can join or maybe take a class is something it's a great way of meeting new people and it's easier to talk to someone who has common interest . 🐼
Also you can also look for support group ones you can go to face to face or at least via zoom as that is more beneficial than messaging online
A support group may be helpful, I just need to find it within me to be brave Thank you for your kind messages x
I don’t journal no, is this something you find helps you?I haven’t actually tried doing it.
The emotion wheel is something I am definitely going to look up thank you
I never show my emotions or talk about things
I’m very sensitive and have always found not to let people see how sensitive I am because they may make fun of me or think I’m crazy
My family know though what I’m like but don’t really understand me
That’s the thing I don’t have hobbies and I’m not really interested in much
I boring
The group :club thing is terrifying to me.
I can’t deal with groups of people. I literally freeze and don’t talk when in groups. I feel everyone is laughing at me. If I do talk I worry about what I said what they think
Of me. Or that I come across so weird cos I’m socially inept
Yes it helps alot . I really helps me sort through my thoughts and stops me from going over and over the same thing in my head. It can also helps me spot my pattens of behaviour and also great to write about postive things which is nice to look back on when I am feeling down. It's like build up a brick wall you think it protects you but in the end nobody can see you and nobody really knows you so you end up alone . People won't be able to understand you if you don't give them a chance too .
The only way through is to Knock down the brick wall it sounds scary but you don't have to do it all at once . Take small steps . Next time you talk to someone tell them something about yourself doesn't have to be something massive . Or maybe talk about something you like . You can think of it before hand and even write it down if it helps . I use the count down technique where you count down from 5 in you head and then just say it . It doesn't give your brain enough time to worry or talk yourself out of it .
I used to think the same , and suffered from social anxiety I am still working through it . I have to remind myself that people are generally too busy thinking/ worrying about themselves and often don't notice or care about things that I assume they are laughing or judging me for Have you seen a therapist ? I think that can help you .
In regards to a support group if you can find some for social anxiety or anxiety then people will understand and it doesn't matter if you don't want to talk you can just listen. I think hearing peoples experiences will help you with yours and will give you a sense of connection .
Hi, this is my first post on here because I don’t have the words but you have been typing them down exactly! I have done some counseling to no avail. I listen to audiobooks, unf@$k your brain was good.I go for long walks every day with music and I work on puzzles. These things help some but not with the isolation. I’ve been considering fostering a dog too since I love animals but don’t want the long term commitment again.
Hello
Thank you for sharing your ways that help you, this may be useful for some of us to also try.
Fostering a pet is a lovely idea , I think a pet is an unconditional love that we don’t always get from a human.
Maybe you should think about it, a dog or maybe another animal that has a shorter life span. Like a hamster or rabbit. I don’t know. But an animal can be part of your family . Hope you make the decision that is right for you x
I agree, the unconditional love is amazing. I had two chihuahuas that were my world. If I find myself staying at home as much as I have been I will looking to animals. I’m liking the rabbit idea, thank you! I would love to hear from someone that has a rabbit and any info or suggestions?
Really good advice, I’m glad you find away to help with your feelings ect I will try to do some writing down stuff
Yes the wall keeps us safe but lonely
I have let my wall down recently to some people I met online and have ended up being ghosted after a while
It makes my walls go right back up again, it just proves I’m right in not letting people in and that I prob should be alone as I don’t know what I done to be ignored: ghosted b
A friend I been speaking to for a year recently met someone new and know I don’t hear from them the same.
I feel I always get pushed aside when someone better comes along
I not had therapy, apart of this is trusting to tell someone about myself
The group support thing probably would do me good. I will google to see what’s in my area. At least if I look and see what there is I can think about going to one then
Yes Its definitely hard when you have negative experiences in the past , it makes you second guess yourself and think there is something wrong with you . I know I have been there where people have I had know for a long time have ignored me ... One person it happend as soon as she got a boyfriend after I have been there for them . It happens and yes it hurt alot . After being upset about it for I bit. I looked back at our interactions and realised it was a very one sided friendship as she was never really there for me and I just didn't see it at time . Sometimes people aren't good friends and you will go through life finding this but eventually you will find someone who you click with . Also it's a learning opportunity and how that I didn't open up to people and would just let them unload their stuff on me . Which helped me in future friendships . People come and go in your life and yes sometimes they move on with other people but the great thing is you can too .
Just keep at it , if it goes well amazing if it doesn't you tried , you learn something and it gives something to work with . Also keep yourself credit for putting yourself out there.
Yes I agree
My friend has read my message this morning and ignored me all day, and still I not heard from them.
I’m not sure how long I can deal with being ignored like this. They have does this a few times now.
I asked them are you ignoring me last time. Of course they denied it.
I don’t know if to stay away from this person now.
I don’t think they realise how much it hurts me to ignore me. And I won’t tell them it hurts.
Did you hear back from your friend ? Why do you feel like you can't tell them how if hurts you ?
Yes I have heard from them. I’ve just posted about being ignored actuallyI asked once and they said not the case.
But continue to leave messages on open but get back eventually, or leave me on delivered for ages. I find it difficult to deal with this type of behaviour but feel it’s normal ?
So I don’t think I can say it hurts me because I feel it makes me to sensitive or unreasonable or needy.
Okay . Feels normal from that particular friend or people in general . Sometimes people just get so wrapped up in their lives they don't realise .
I feel that even though we have so much technology and different way of reaching people but I feel that world is almost more disconnected .
If you willing and able to do the things that you ask from another person is not unreasonable. And nobody likes to feel ignored I don't see why that makes you sensitive .
If the person is a good friend they should be willing to hear you out and most likely has no idea how you feel about it and if they are not at least you know where you stand . Tell them how you feel rather than an accusation . For example I feel lonely or I feel upset or I feel unheard when you don't get back to me . Rather than your ignoring me . Hope this makes sense
Thank you so much, that’s a better approach that I didn’t think of
Hope your days going well x
These times are unprecedented, and are having an impact on all of our mental health.
Make are to breathe. We'll get through it together.
Hi Tigerlilly, sorry you are still struggling. Megapanda has some good advice, one of the things to ask yourself is would I speak to a friend the way that I speak to myself? Also, where did those messages of self-loathing come from? Can you investigate and find out so you can start healing. When I started becoming aware of my own inner critic I realized how negative it was and that i have a choice as to believe it or not. Consider healing yourself as a project to put your energy into and try to determine what is holding you back.
It can sound like a cliche but I find practicing gratitude helps me shift my thinking and bring me back to the present and helps me feel good about myself.
You might investigate the source of your social anxiety. In my healing, I realized that I actually had complex-ptsd from growing up in a emotionally repressive and abusive household and bullying in school and as a result developed the social anxiety. I also was impacted by childhood emotional neglect. I found a trauma therapist who utilized emdr therapy which has really helped. I've also realized that i'm a HSP which i have suspected for some time and am learning how that has impacted me.
A lot of us are very hard on ourselves so try to be kind to yourself and know we are all a work in progress.
A book I am currently reading is "Drive your own darn bus" by Julia Kristina you might find it interesting and helpful
Your very much an inspiration.It’s hopeful for me to hear your story and know things can get better.
No your right I would try to be positive for someone else.
I definitely am way to negative.
But I know me and I know that the way I feel about myself is right
I can’t have explain, it’s a feeling a worthless that won’t go away.
I don’t know how to stop feeling this way about myself
Yes your right gratitude is important, and I try to be grateful for the little things in life where I can
So many people have mentioned books. They seem to help a lot of people
Thank you for your suggestion xx
Just know that feelings, just like thoughts, can be lies that we took on to survive from negative events in our lives and they may not be true for us now.
Do you have any pets? I had a Weimaraner dog named Walter that was an absolute character and really helped me start to connect to and open my heart. He really helped me start to feel and experience unconditional love which I never had before, I think it is what we as humans are all yearning for. He really helped me start to become a better human and started me on my healing journey.
I don’t currently have any pets. I would like one.They are a lovely breed of dog, I bet he needed a lot of mental and physical stimulation though with that type of breed?
He did, the dog breed book said that a lot of times the Weim is smarter than its owners - LOL. He was a great motivator for me for exercising by taking him on long walks. Friends said he had more personality than most people they knew.
Living in the present moment is vital. Just stop and be right here, right now. Probably you don't like the present because of thoughts about the past or future
Well, The present is a gift from the universe. Do you want to use it well or badly?
It is the chance to change direction and take charge of your life. If you waste it now, you may miss something spectacular, and you won't know unless you try.
Only you can make this change. If you think of it you will understand the truth of it.
Nobody can do this for you, only You.
Cheers,
Midori
There is light at the end of the tunnel! you just got to keep going through it. 😊
Scared of giving a presentation. 
Giving presentation today 
Having A Rough Moment...
Struggling at the moment
