It started way back during my plus 2 jee mains college entrance exam preparation at that time I had no idea about psychological problems. First it started with heart pounding and headaches . We went to a neouralogist he gave some medicine for head ache relaxation. While I was on them our internal test results came and I was on top .so from that confidence symptoms reduced slowly.
after that I got admission in good NIT college that to CSE branch .
Life was moving well until 3-2 sem that was the time.companies came for hiring interns and ppo offer s also. This it got up pretty fucked up . I started coding for placement online tests. but that thought "I did not prepare or code over all these years, wasted,now this 4 months time will it be enough ??" It kept on looping in head. I was not able to concentrate on coding practice with this headache and heart pounding. Not a day went by without calling my mom and explaining the issue and crying . It become daily routine . After some days I decided to take leave for a week and went to home.there we consulted a neurosurgeon he did all the tests , MRI scan,ECG and everything.there was nothing in them .with the medicine s he gave I went to college it was ok for two to three weeks then same routine continued for one month crying , headcahe s , pounding until It was bearable . one night I searched for how many sleep tablest we need to take for separting the soul from body . And i called my parents told them.repeatedly like " maa I am not able to manage it maa
I am hopeless maa "" . Something like that and .my dad hurried off on that night to my college with 24hours journey switching trains and all . Dad slept in my room for a week .i was taking meds suggest ed by one of the psychiatrist at our college hospital. Those did not work I became very week and sleepless ness , full of confusion.
dad took me to my native place given the situation i did not even apply for the leaves . We consulted a psychiatrist near to our village . They diagnosed it as anxiety plus depression. Doc suggested if we can admit in their hospital I can leave for the college by exams time. We admitted but later part did not happen .side effects kicked in like over sleeping and other.u was not able to do my own chores.
we changed to new psychiatrist in major city in other state with the help.fo relatives .This time with the tabs new set of side effects came improper muscle movement, i was not able to eat by myslef.
This time went to bigger franchise hospital upon listening to the symptoms doctor Said anxiety disorder . And gave few medicines . They worked ahh finally for .a while.
i was not able give exams that year , so had register an extra year with my juniors .first semester 3- 1 passed that by watching all kind of English web series on a row every day.
During preparation s for the placement s in the fifth year and also due to corona ifaced again this anxiety and depression but managed to get job in a good company.
But after the year again in this March I had similar episode of anxiety this time severe .
Depression and after a while panic attacks also started coming. I was not able concentrate on the job and they were not able to provide leaves so I resigned.
This time it is taking longer . I admitted in the hospital in April last week for 12 days .I went through ketamine therapy and ECT.
And after that I am on nortimer for depression and ativan for anxiety and pill for sleeping.
I am on medication for almost 4 months but not able to recover and when I am trying to apply for job or start preparation I am again going through same .
Any suggestions and help ??
Dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and nightmares. Advice required.
Panic Disorder/Anxiety
Anxiety/ panic disorder
Anxiety and Panic Disorder
Severe anxiety and Panic disorder 
