How is it so easy for other people to console their friends, to talk to them, knowing the right things to say when that friend you so deeply love is being pulled into the darkness of their minds. Where do you guys find the words. I’ll listen attentively, you can vent until morning, I will hold your hand but is that even enough.
I’m failing again as a friend - Anxiety and Depre...
I’m failing again as a friend
44 Replies
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Just simple things. Listening, caring, loving. That what helps me. I’ve been at this hard for at least the last 30+ years, I have no answer, but that what gets me to the next day. Thank You!
in reply to
I just wish I could do more than just being there
in reply to
You can, start right here right now! Open up & tell me your biggest trouble. Challenge me to help. Shut my big mouth! We’ll start a tit for tat, back & forth. I’ll try to help you, you me. OK?
Hey so you can be there for them and give support as needed , but that’s about all you can do. It is on them to decide to make the necessary changes to their life
I agree with the other posts. I would add, however, that doing certain things for the friend or with Her may help her and may be worthwhile. This could include accompanying the friend to a doctor appointment, or having lunch together, etc,.
in reply to b1b1b1
Thank you, I wish I could do that we don’t live in the same city
Yes I think so.
Good people like us always want to do more.
in reply to Starrlight
🤍 ⭐️ Starr that’s true, I end up feeling helpless and beating myself up, hope you’ve been good hun
Super big hug my beautiful 🌻 friend. Sometimes just being there... hugs, love, a shoulder can be just as as meaningful as having the right words. Just being there, truly being there, listening speaks volumes. Knowing someone is there with me... being my candle flame 🕯 is sometimes all I want/need.
in reply to melbrown
Melll 💖❤️ Thank you for the kind words like always my friend, I wish I could do more but these are the things I can offer for now. Just being present
I find info on the website Jw.org really really good. I use it all the time. Like even if you aren’t religious, the principles are timeless. Have a look. I type in the search words like ‘friends’ or ‘anxiety’ etc.
in reply to Bearminimum
I will give it a shot, I’ve never heard of that site before. Thank you
BTW you are helping far more than you realise anyway. 😘
in reply to Bearminimum
❤️ 🥰 thank you for these kind words
..🌻
in reply to Sillysausage234
Alannn, any feel good music you want to share with me today, I’m making a new playlist to jam to for the summertime
Nothing_but_books in reply to
I'm not Mr. Silly, but I'll give it a go.
youtube.com/watch?v=9PrvCmj...
in reply to Nothing_but_books
Added!! It’s a lovely song ❤️
in reply to Nothing_but_books
Sillysausage234 in reply to
Got 2 additions 😄
Sillysausage234 in reply to
in reply to Sillysausage234
in reply to Sillysausage234
This one is already on my playlist
in reply to Sillysausage234
Sillysausage234 in reply to
Thanks ,for the uplift 😊
Sillysausage234 in reply to
Yes, it's more than enough.
My best friend is a cancer survivor, 3 x's. She gets asked often what she needed the most during her struggle and it was always a supportive ear.
You are giving your love and friendship. I think that's a beautiful gift.
❤️🐬
in reply to Dolphin14
I really thought more was needed since talking is not my forte but I’m always present. Thank you for your kind words love
CMD, how are you today? Just thinking of you.
in reply to
Hey hun I’m doing okay on my way to the park enjoying my last few days of summer, classes are about to start soon.. how are things on your end, any plans for the weekend
in reply to
I’m staying under The Tree of Serenity til the cows come home. Thing is, I don’t have any cows! Oh well. You enjoy, ok?
in reply to
😂😂 hahaha I was about to ask where did the cows go. Have a nice day ❤️
in reply to
You too sweet lady
Giving advice is hard to do. Listening is easy. I had a really terrible day during a family trip. Not a long drive but it was horrible. I would say the reason but looking back now, it seems very petty.
When we got to the grandparents' house, I let my husband and daughter go inside and stayed in the car to "cool off." I tried. I really did. My MIL came out and leaned in my window trying to calm me down. It wasn't enough for me. She then asked if I had a friend I could talk to. I did but I hadn't talked to her in 5 or 6 years. But I took the chance.
Jen acted liked we had talked the day before. The time we had been out of touch didn't matter. It was just her being kind, listening, calming me down. Then we talked for over an hour about minor and major events in our lives. We shared funny days and sad days. And some really dark days too. My MIL came to check on me a lot. Mainly standing in the garage and staring at my car to see if I was okay.
To me, it wasn't what Jen said that helped me. It was the basic things that happened in our lives that helped me center myself, calm my heart and clear my head. And though I was really close to losing my mind, she pulled me back into "You can cope with this" mode. And the "you can win this fight" attitude she stirred in me gave me back my purpose.
So though you might know the words to "fix" the problem itself, you might have the words to "re-center" your friend's thinking. Just being there and caring is often the best non-verbal advice you can give. The "words of advice" and the "wisdom" will grow within you as you go through life. And maybe someday those words will be ready to be spoken.
in reply to No1wthayla
Im still working on how to be more vocal, I’m a great listener and just being there showing I care through actions but when it comes to give advices my mind goes into panic… I love that last sentence, maybe someday it will happen
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