Lost

[Jake1999]

I have been in a relationship for 15 years and I am afraid that my fear sharing my feelings has ruined it. Any advice would be helpful but this is the first time I have shared this and an sad and afraid of loosing the best thing that has ever happened to me.

[kenster1]

you done the right thing expressing how you really feel she`ll understand and hopefully support you.

[Jake1999 in reply to kenster1]

She does it’s just been a lot of pain I put her through and I don’t feel that I am deserving of her love

[fauxartist in reply to Jake1999]

She's been with you for 15 years, so that says a lot about how they feel about you. I think it's sometimes a cultural thing with guys to not show or share their feelings, they have to be the one who fixes things and is the rock in a relationship. But sometimes people don't share their feelings because they fear their partner won't like what they say, and it could alienate them, or hurt their feelings. It's a real 'Catch 22', and if you're realizing you want a change, then maybe look into some couples counselling that is with a therapist. Someone who can help guide you and help you to feel okay with sharing. Find out what your partner is really thinking and what their needs are as well. When your partner wants to be there for you, and they are consistently shut out, it can be frustrating.

[Jake1999 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you we are looking into counseling but since we are not married I am trying to work around insurance guidelines

[Hidden]

Perhaps this is the sign you need to really try and overcome the fear and let those feelings out. No matter the response, you will almost certainly feel good after expressing yourself. I struggle with the same issue, but I’ve learned to let my feelings be known with my partner and, when in doubt, think back on those previous times and how relieved I felt after. If you are afraid your fear has possibly already ruined your relationship, what have you got to lose? Go for it, you got this!

[Jake1999 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you that is what I have been telling myself. But it is hard so hard. But I’m not giving up!!

[Hidden]

If life was easy, we’d never learn or grow. The difficult times in life are what make us stronger human beings on the other side of the turmoil that forced us outside of our comfort zone. Now seems the time to make it happen. You got it!

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for sharing. Why are you afraid about sharing your feelings? That is what relationships are about to support and encourage each other. If you have been together for 15 years that is wonderful. Good healthy communication is what all relationships need. YOu might consider couples counseling. It really helps to have a third party professional guide the conversation. Here is an article that might help about sharing your feelings (bit.ly/3QXoBV2). Most guys don't share, so it is good that you do. I will keep your situation in my prayers. Hugs and God Bless

[Jake1999 in reply to lovetodance2018]

It’s not just with her it is PTSD from my childhood. No matter what I did it was always wrong and I was verbally abused. My only defense was not to show any emotion. I have come a long way and will always keep moving forward!! Thank you for your thoughtful response

[lovetodance2018 in reply to Jake1999]

So glad you are continue to move forward for yourself. Sounds like you have had a rough childhood, but letting go of the past is so important. I actually have a journal called "Let it Go". Anything I write in there, I avoid thinking about and it is freeing to put it out of my mind and thoughts and onto paper. I hand that journal over to God daily. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs