Not Sure

[Atenns2]

I feel like no drug is working for me any longer. The worse of all is that I feel like my brain has been altered from many years of different antidepressants (1998 to date @ 60 years).

Even my Doctor says he doesn't know what to give me again.

But the most disturbing situation is that it looks as if my brain is altered. I am seeing misty and not myself and barely alive. If only my head can clear a bit for me to have a bit of clarity and feel reasonably normal. I feel like I'm ar the end of the rope.

[Blueruth]

Meds are only part of the treatment. Quite honestly I use them to help build the skills that give me resilience. So to be frank when I see someone new frustrated with meds my first question is what other things are you doing? Unfortunately traditional psychiatry is not good at helping in that area. I can’t offer a med solution but I can help with those kinds of ideas.

[Blueruth]

To follow up. My brain feels altered by a med too. I can’t get off it. I’m pretty angry about it too.

[Dell12345]

Hi there, I'm sorry you are feeling like this, it can't be easy. Try to remember why you started taking medication, presumably you didn't feel good then either, so the medication has worked, for a long time.

I have thought the same before, and I'm sure medications do change your brain over time, but I try to think about them as having given me more time feeling ok that I otherwise would have. Without them I wouldn't have made it this far.

There are a lot of different types of medications out there, one or a combination may work well for you.

Do you see a psychiatrist? They will be much more knowledgable than a GP.

[Atenns2 in reply to Dell12345]

Hi Dell, thank you for your kindness to encourage me. Yes I am seeing a Psychiatrist for over 10 and it appears like he has ran out of ideas on what to do now. He did make a statement that he doesn't know what to give me again. It is like he has tried all the antidepressants on me but it has been difficult for me to stick to any particular one due to side effects. I am just miserable and asking myself if I have any hope. I am just sad and confused but my children are still young and my wife shows good support so it's difficult to give up.

[Dell12345 in reply to Atenns2]

That's a shame, most side effects wear off after a few weeks, but obviously if they don't or are intolerable then it's worth stopping or winding down the dose (always with your docs consultation). I'm not a doctor, but I have done a lot of reading about the different treatment options.

I'd be interested to know what you've tried if you wouldn't mind? Maybe DM me.

I've heard TMS is quite effective. It might be worth seeing if you can get that, even privately. Are you in the US or UK?

[Atenns2]

Hi Dell,

Thank you so much for your concern. Over the years i have tried Amytrpiline, anafranil, paroxetine, fluoxetine, citalopram, mitarzepine, olanzapine, clonazepam. I have been on one antidepressant or the other since 1998. I am now nearly 61 years.

I am neither in US nor UK. I am in Nigeria where government/corruption has failed us with no working healthcare system. I probably could have fared better if I lived in a civilised country with strong health system.

I am trying to see another Psychiatrist but until Monday (6 days) time before he can tell me when to see him because he travelled out of town.

Pls what is TMS?

I feel terrible but I am alive. I hope in God for mercy.

[Dell12345]

TMS is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. It's a treatment which involves passing magnetic pulses through the skull to stimulate certain areas of the brain. It's not painful or harmful in any way.

It looks like you have triad a few medications in different classes, but there are still others that you could try perhaps. A couple of the ones you mention (amytriptyline and anafranil) are in the tricyclics class and are not generally used now as they have more side effects than SSRIs (citalopram, paroxetine).

Olanzapine is a second generation antipsycotic, sometimes used for depression and/ or bipolor disorders, they tend to have a higher chance of side effects than SSRIs or SNRIs too. Clonazapam is a benzodizapine, these are good for short term anxiety relief, but not depression.

I can't see anything in the SNRI or NDRI classes

Could you ask your doctor about Venlaphaxine (an SNRI) or Bupropion (an NDRI) ? These could be worth trying.

[Atenns2]

It looks as if TMS is not known nor available in Nigeria. Medical practice is still quite basic here because the top government officials and politicians often travel to US or Europe for their medical care so our hospitals are largely neglected consultation centres. The Psychiatrist I see does not have that in his clinic although he was head of Psychiatry in a University Teaching hospital before he set up his private clinic.

I started to Journal today and here is my first entry to share with you:

"30 June 2022: Feeling dazed. Unreal. As if am not normal. As if i just woke up from fainting. Could it be that there is something severe with my brain? Could something have turned inside my head? Will i become better? How will tomorrow be?- better? I will yet hope and put my trust in God Almighty."

I fear that I may get worse and lose my senses or something. I don't feel normal today. But who knows God may still bring me healing.

Thank you for caring and sorry for bothering you with my problems as you also have yours.

[Dell12345 in reply to Atenns2]

No problem at all, I hope you manage to find some relief. X