My nephew, who shows a lot of high functioning BPD traits, graduated university about a year ago and recently got a job on campus where he works with staff and students. He didn't go to university straight out of high school so he's older than the average college grad - he's 29.
I've noticed that he's spending a lot of his free time on campus, making friends with sophomores and almost dated a sophomore girl. I've asked him why he's not making friends with people his own age/stage in life (post-college) he gets very defensive and changes the subject.
After graduation none of my friends hung out on campus or socialized regularly with undergrads - they wanted to be with peers.
Should I be worried?
Written by
JLoInCali12
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You’ve said yourself that he’s older than the average graduate - so it would be difficult to find people his own age.--There are graduate students on campus and he works with staff, so there are people his age or closer to his age, or at least at the same stage in his life (post-college) that are experiencing the same things he is (taking the next steps in adulthood, like first full-time job after college, getting an apartment on your own, etc.).
Formally diagnosed
--No, has hasn't been formally diagnosed with BPD. He's been diagnosed with depression and PTSD. He won't seek help. He was in therapy as an undergrad for about a year, but he refuses to find a new therapist on his new medical plan, even though his former therapist recommended that he do so, because "therapy doesn't work."
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