Health Anxiety Sucks

[Neochiq]

Man I’m telling you. I hate having anxiety so much. I have severe clinical health anxiety and I am always terrified that I have some kind of cancer. Sometimes I go weeks without anxiety episodes and other times it’s a year or more by when it happens it’s really really bad. Just recently I’ve got myself convinced that I have esophageal cancer.

Obviously there’s a couple of explanations to why I could be feeling this way but my brain says cancer all the way.

Two weeks ago today I woke up with this major burping episode? I am a 39-year-old female and it was like this all day long belching and it was really painful in my esophagus under my right ribs. Later that night I realized that the pain it was associated with me swallowing. So I did a couple tests on myself to see if it hurt when I swallow food, liquid, saliva, or if I dry swallowed. It didn’t matter what I did it hurt the same for each one. So I looked up like gallstones liver issues etc. but none of those with her when I’m swallowing. So eventually I saw esophageal cancer as a cause of pain when swallowing.

That’s when the real nosedive started. I started googling I couldn’t get out of my own brain and then of course my anxiety exacerbated everything.

When I get into these anxious episodes I don’t really function. I take care of my kids basic needs like food and cleanliness etc. but I don’t do anything for myself and I can’t concentrate on my work from home job I don’t take the kids anywhere fun we don’t go on walks I just sit and Google.

I constantly tried to tell myself that it’s just acid reflux or some kind of either minor problem or something like that. Then I got to thinking about what my habits had been prior to this burping episode and I realized that I had been taking a low-dose aspirin every night before bed because I was convinced that the coronavirus shot was going to give me a blood clot. So I self prescribed low-dose aspirin like a freaking idiot and I did not take it properly. I was taking it with a tiny sip of water right before bed. Apparently not taking it with enough water and then lying down after of the two worst things that you can do when you take an aspirin.

So fast forward and I had lots of days of crying and lots of days of worry and I do have an endoscopy on Thursday and my doctor is almost positive that it caused either gastritis or esophagitis or ulcers or something like that. But I still have this huge fear that I’ve been able to get control over my anxiety for the last few days gain a little weight back because I had dropped like 7 pounds because I couldn’t make myself eat but that they’re going to go in with that endoscopic scope and actually find cancer.

Another thing I keep trying to tell myself is that esophageal cancer itself is very rare. There’s only about 20,000 cases in the United States per year and over 16,000 of them are men. But it didn’t stop me from finding women my age who had esophageal cancer. So of course I feel like it might be me that needs to fill that next year’s statistic.

I’m so nervous for this procedure on Thursday. Does anyone else get this anxious and worked up? Anyone my age in their 30s or 40s that have been 100% convinced that they had cancer and ended up OK?

[Marysblue]

Sorry you're having to deal with this.It's most likely indigestion or like you said from taking the aspirin. Would it maybe help to write down your worries. and maybe even talk back to them . Also you can make a worry box and write God on it and put your worry in there and give it to him.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Marysblue]

I have worry dolls I got from Mexico. Basically same concept. Natives used to use the same practice. Anyways you tell the little doll your worry and put it under your pillow. And the little doll is supposed to carry your worry away.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

I'm in my 30s and thought I was dying. I was weak and tired because I'm stuck on this dose of 50mcg of Euthxol or however you spell it. It's for hypothyroidism. Anyways I'm suffering from side effects like anxiety and dry skin. Which kick off something else. This rash on my neck and chest. Went to a dermatologist and their opinion was it might be eczema. my joints have been hurting me and I'm afraid of taking pain medicine cause I take all these other pills. Ooh yeah before the rash on my chest I had breast "milk " coming out of my breasts and no I'm not pregnant. It scared me cause I thought it was cancer. I got an ultrasound and I don't.

Now as for the rash the steroid cream is taking care of it. And my blood work I had done came back with flying colors. I'm very healthy despite what I keep telling myself.

Words to yourself carry some serious weight. So if you think you're dying, you're going to start feeling like you are.

Googling symptoms can lead to always cancer.

I'm pretty sure you just have acid reflux and going have to make changes to my your diet and work on mindfulness so you can be less stressed. Sometimes stress can make acid levels rise.

Wishing you the very best of good health. And hope all goes well for you 💖

[Arymretep]

Google has a lot to answer for, it puts thoughts In your mind, if we are worried about our health we should always discuss it with our Dr, good luck with your tests, im sure everything will be ok.

[Ryubug]

Girl I feels you. That's how I've become since the pandemic started and even worse after getting covid. I get so worked up over long term effects and any little thing I feel in my body it's the worst case scenario. I just got over the flu and was scared it was covid cause I lost my smell off and on for a week. Then everytime my smell was gone it was never coming back. Then I was exposed to covid cause my mom has it and she had come over to help me with my anxiety. Well it's been over a week and I'm still negative. Now it's a lingering cough from the flu and I'm thinking copd cause I am a light smoker. Trying to quit but the anxiety makes it really hard. I'm trying to tell myself I'm fine it's just my brain and think positively or about anything else. I'm trying to stay busy too. I'm on anxiety meds and hoping to get into counseling soon but there's a long waiting list.

[Daveacr1959]

Probably the best thing is to get things checked out by the dr . So you don’t do this to yourself. And with all the commercials on t v about all the illness, no wonder.