My life problems

[C4buritto2001]

So all my life I witnessed my family being abused by my dad, it's been going on before I was born and just barely stopped in 2019, I tried going to school and making friends but it was hard because we would always move to different countries and ever since I was 11-12 I've been dealing with anxiety and depression and I've told myself that I wouldn't want to go through what my family went through well... I was dating someone in 2017 we were engaged and everything and she cheated on me 3 times even though I stayed loyal the entire time. She was mentally and physically abusive. So recently we broke up because I found her cheating and I told her to get out and that I don't want to see her again. This happened around April 1st. Now I don't know what to feel or how I feel, I feel like she destroyed me as a person and made everything worse but I just couldn't see that she was putting me down because I was blinded by love. now I have been struggling ever since with my anxiety and depression, I can't eat or sleep or do anything. I don't have friends and my family hates each other so I don't have anyone to talk to and I don't even know what to do anymore.

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for reaching out. I am sorry you have had abuse both in your past growing up and in your recent relationship. Have you been to therapy to heal from your past? It is hard to move forward and have a healthy relationship until you heal from your past. A few things that is recommended to heal from the past is to recognize the hurt, make a list of the situations, then write a note to forgive that person. You may never send that note, but it is a way to take the hurt out of your heart. The next thing is learning tolove who you are. Someone in the past may have said abusive things to you and you may believe those lies. So recognizing and being aware of those lies and replace them with positive healthy things about yourself will help your healing process. It is hard to love or be loved until we know ourselves and love ourselves. Churches are a great resource to find support groups from abusive pasts along with many churches have pastoral care so you have someone to chat with and get some support. Here is an article (bit.ly/3rZunKF) you might find helpful. I will be praying for you and if you need someone to chat with feel free to pm me. Hugs and God Bless

[Survivor1687]

((hugs)) you don't hafta struggle with this alone. You have come to a great community with alot of supportive people. Keep reaching out.

[PassionFruit6]

There needs to be a relatable button rather than like. As that reflects that thoughts I had when reading your post.

I am a little older than you now and at the same age as you, I went through similar. I would love to say things get better but really we get wiser and stronger to pick up abusive signs and traits with practise.

Keep trying to make friends through your hobbies or with people in your existing life that are different to you. I have very assertive and over confident friends, with some being passive or submissive and others who are escapists. Speaking with them means I get different perspectives and I can juggle how I feel around situations independently afterwards.

There are also times when, I prefer researching to find my answers rather than ask others.

When none of these work, there are medical professionals.

Hope my message helps some what.

I don’t agree with the mindset that, we choose abusive people because we have not healed. If someone says something that doesn’t sit right with your gut, follow it because it isn’t right for you at that time and it might never be in the future. Your priority is to keep yourself safe, resilient and happy even if your decision could disappoint another.