Night time :'(

[Survivor1687]

I feel like I had a better day yesterday, attended meetings all day, reached out for additional peer support, gained some helpful insight from some kind people... Was feeling good about things, started feeling a bit of hope again. Now, it's after 2am almost 3am, there's no meetings, I do not have a friend or anyone whom I can call or reach out to, I'm missing people that have passed, VERY BADLY right now 😢💔 I'm missing how close my family use to be, I'm missing human touch, a comforting hug, a body next to mine, a shoulder to cry on. I'm missing the people who know me, who know who I am as a person, after being made out to be someone I absolutely could never EVER be! I miss the people/person whom I once felt safe with 😢 I really need some support rn. The night time is very difficult for me. I find past trauma replaying over and over, flashbacks, I find myself blaming myself, overthinking, and panicking about things, some which are out of my control, thinking of every possible outcome good and bad. I miss my friends, I miss my FAMILY😭 even if they all hate me. I miss the love I use to feel the love of family and friends weather it was real coming from themc or not, I MISS IT, terribly! Probably more than anything in this world! I miss feeling LOVED and being able to be with the people I LOVE without having to live in fear every day!! I would be very grateful for any kind of support I am able to receive right now. Having a difficult time tonight.

[Blue_81]

Hello Survivor Sorry you are going through a rough time at this moment. Love is the greatest thing. There are ups and downs. Yesterday for me was a great day, I was able to do many things. Today it just been horrible rollercoaster. I should be a sleep by now. Sending best wishes. Hope you can rest.