Don't know what to do

[Against_the_current]

I'm going back to my accomodation at friday, Tommorrow to see a friend on Sunday. And i marked the days in the volunteering schedule because i thought " If i'm there, i better do something productive, something to distract me". But right now i feel like i want to stay home. I don't know whether to tell the friend i can't make it and deliete myself from the schedule and to cancel the traveling. I feel like i want to stay home but after this week of me out something bad will happen and i won't be able to stay at home. I get agoraphobia and Social Anxiety in my university city. And i'm scared, i'm paranoid mom and sis may do something dumb while i'm gone. And then to not be able to come back. What if that's my last week at home? What if they do something stupid while i'm gone like getting pregnant? I don't want more sisters, brother, nephews. I'm just paranoid because of dad and my Coisin's babies, right? I'm always scared mom might. She's almost 50 tho. But i'm scared they might argue or fight or do something dumb whole i'm gone and i won't be able to go back home. My city is better for walks because it doesn't trigger my agoraphobia. It's just panic right? I had a phone therapy session today and i started building up tension after it. If i cancel now people might get confused and mad. And mom wants me to see my friend because "i'm staying too much at home and alone". I'm scared.