I lost them both because of anxiety. Plus broke my headphones while dissosiating and ruined mom's birthday and my mind

[Against_the_current]

So i got involved with some boy, i lost my friend because i was so upset from this boy (I'm so stupid) and tried to listen to music but i was dissosiating and i sat on my headphones and lost them too. And i got so depressed and dissosiated on mom's birthday. And now i went to watch his stream but he had some other girls in his team with affiliation levels in their profiles and i made a scene in his livestream in front of everyone. I'm so dumb, i should have asked him on private. He's upset and want to end it because i'm always anxious and insecure. The friend i lost told me to not trust him and i'm suspicious but i'm scared now that just because i got jelaous, he might really drop me and get one of these girls for real. And now i'm too miserable to do whatever. To do my homeworks, to listen to mom and sis, to exist. I'm just miserable. I don't want just because i got insecure to get really dumped and replace with the people i got insecure from. Mom was always jelaous and you see how it Ended.