When will it stop?

[Potter123]

These past few years have been the worst years of my life. I never thought anything could be worse than my time in the military but somehow its been topped. I've posted before about the struggles that have become huge throughout my isolation during the pandemic. The depression, ptsd, anxiety, paranoia, all things I've been working hard to cope with, and deal with healthfully. But every time I feel like I'm catching a break, life comes along and just knocks me down again. Recently I've been told by the state they want back over 10k in unemployment I received during the pandemic, still not sure why but I'm fighting it as best I can as I needed every cent of it. More recently the VA is telling me they accidentally overpaid me years ago for my GI bill and now they want me to pay them over 4k. I've been picking up jobs and hustles left and right to try and keep it together, but that still wasn't enough. Now I'm being evicted because the owner of the farm I've called home for 4 years thinks they can cash out in the current market, so now I have to leave. Then to top it all off, yesterday my mentor and closest thing I have to family here went off on me for being sad I was being forced out. He told it was my fault and I should've seen it coming, that despite everything that's happened I still should've known better and been prepared for the world to end. I also should add that he's buying part of the farm, and I think feels a bit guilty about it. But that doesn't matter. What matters is one of my best friends burning every bridge between us, and telling me to fuck off. Even though just a few days ago we were talking about it and he was super empathetic and understanding of the position I was in, and even apologetic it was happening so fast. Then he does a 180 and suddenly I'm a piece of shit who can't get it together. My heart is broken, my natural response is to rage and be furious but I don't have the energy. Every part of my body feels like it weighs a ton, and all the air has gone out of my lungs. I'm tired of losing friends, I've lost too many, and to lose another like this just kills me. My mom said it might be his way of coping with me having to move far away, after we've worked together almost everyday for 4 years. Maybe, maybe he's actually mad at me because he thinks I think it's his fault I gotta go, but that's not the case. If my girlfriend wasn't here I don't know what I'd do, she's what has kept from doing anything stupid, hurting myself or someone else. I don't want to be that person again. Just some angry lunatic who lashes out at everyone, and looks for fights wherever I go. I've moved on from that, so when loved ones start fights with me I really have a hard time with it. I just don't know what to do, I want to talk to him (and his wife, both people I've loved dearly for years), but what is there to say? He's obviously upset about something else and I served as an avenue to express that pain, but it just hurts so much. I'm sad, angry, and just scared that I've lost another person I thought I could count on to have my back, which he always has, but now being turned away.. it hurts. What do I do?

[TrustYourSoul]

Wow. How incredibly betrayed you must be feeling. I had a "friend" behave in a similar way, and so I let them go. It was best. So many don't know the what the loyalty of true friendship means. You just have to let him go. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, but his behavior is not worth fighting over.

Quite frankly, I would ignore the Dept of Labor about your unemployment for a while. You require a detailed explanation, In Writing, or you will not acknowledge them. You must protect yourself with documentation.

With respect to the VA, I don't know how they operate/calculate $$, but same thing..... you Require a detailed explanation in writing.

Interestingly, when you tell government entities that you lost your job (do it in writing), they tend to back off. I know this for a fact, but can't share how. They may threaten to take any 2021 tax return money from your Federal and/or State taxes, but if you aren't employed, there is no other source for them. They will not sue you.

Thank You for your military service. I am the proud daughter of an Air Force Veteran, and I miss my daddy every day.

Please keep us posted about things. I am very glad you have the support of your girlfriend. 🙇‍♀️

[bethelbee]

The state and the VA most definitely owe you full written explanations of why they want their monies back!! Don't back down or give in; find an attorney if you need to . If you received unemployment benefits during the pandemic you probably earned them and should not have to pay back any of it. As far as the VA, how in the hell could they have 'accidentally ' overpaid you for your GI bill??! I don't understand. So sorry to hear about the betrayal from a supposed friend. Many think they can cash out now with real estate being like it is but those people will have to find another property, not so easy in today's market.

Wishing you the best and above all, thank you for your service!!