Psychosis from running out of abilify

[Caseopia]

I recently ran out of abilify for almost a week and had a horrible reaction. I couldn't get to the pharmacy to get my refill and was stuck without it. I ended up in psychosis, was paranoid and fearful everyone I loved was going to die, couldnt stop screaming that something bad was going to happen, among other symptoms that were unhealthy and dangerous and terrifying. It was terrifying. I made the mistake of trying to get rid of my paranoia(voices) with alcohol the one day and that only made it 100 times worse. If i wasnt in psychosis and was in control, I never would have turned to alcohol for help. I know better. But at the moment, I wasn't in control of myself. I felt so ashamed I could get symptoms like that and felt crazy, legit. I was behaving like it without being able to control it. I was like the energizer bunny and Tasmanian devil combined. Now I know why I'm on meds and that they help. And now I'm researching pharmacy delivery, as I don't drive...hence why I couldn't get to the pharmacy. I hope I never forget this situation so I never question being on meds. And I'm so grateful I'm starting to feel better again. Maybe the level of help i get from my psych meds is as healthy as i can be which is upsetting cause i wish i was even better mentally. Just needed to get that out there. Thank you for being there H.U friends

[Blueruth]

I had an unintentional 'withdrawal' too... not the same med. It was horrible. I totally lost control of my head. Very scary too. Glad you are okay.

[Caseopia in reply to Blueruth]

Thank you. It is so scary.

[Blueruth in reply to Caseopia]

Oh now that I recall… I decided to stop taking citalopram years ago. Withdrawal was horrible. I had to bump it up by half so reduce taper rate. What finally worked was a week fast (moderated). It was like all the stuff was cleaned out of my gut. They say seratonin is also in your gut. Whatever I was still taking I stopped cold turkey, no withdrawal .

[witherrae]

My doctor once decided to randomly take me off of citalopram about a year ago and I had horrible withdrawals. (I decided to get a new doctor after that.) I don't know if it was psychosis but my mind was definitely messed up. That was one of the worst times in my life and I didn't think I'd live through it.

I don't know what your living/insurance situation is but Amazon has their new pharmacy thing now and my state has non-emergent medical transportation for people on Medicaid. Most of the pharmacies out here deliver as well. Look into your community resources, there might be something free or low cost to help you with getting your meds or to your appointments.

Good luck, glad you're feeling better.

[Caseopia in reply to witherrae]

Wow. Thank you. I'll check out Amazon. And other delivery services. I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that. It is awful and I too felt like it was never going to end. Thank you for replying

[Existing]

You are very wise to understand the importance of learning from and remembering this experience as a lesson. Try not to beat yourself up for what is not in your control. Hopefully you won't have to repeat this lesson too many times, but we don't always learn everything we need to learn the first time, so don't be ashamed if you ever end like this again. Its part of the symptoms of your mental health condition.

And I can guarantee you will grow more, not from the meds, but from life in managing your life and your symptoms, and you will become even better. Value your wisdom of lessons you learn, whether you choose them or when they choose you, lol.

[Existing]

And if you really want to learn lessons from life, I recommend you keep a journal throughout your life.