I'm not worth it.

[Therapist104]

My parents are toxic. My grandparents even thought so. I cry myself to sleep every night. I made one mistake when I was in 5th grade, and I regret it. My parents just keep bringing it back and keep saying, "But you thought you could find it better somewhere else. Right?" Who else's parents are toxic and do this?

[Hb2003]

Your worth it 🙏❤️ ignore them they need to move on . yes you made a mistake but that was a long time ago. its time for them to put it in the past and not bring it up again . we all make mistakes and you know what that’s okay because were not 100% perfect and that is what makes us human and that is what makes you you! Lots of hugs 🫂

[Therapist104 in reply to Hb2003]

Thanks. I really struggle with stuff like this. Even when I try to forget it, they always bring it up.

[Hb2003 in reply to Therapist104]

You’re welcome 🙏 i get it . I think you need to be brave and tell them how it makes you feel when they bring it up lots of support ❤️

[Therapist104 in reply to Hb2003]

I'll try. Maybe through a text, because every time I try to stand up for myself, they just yell and scream at me, which makes me yell at them. They don't care about my feelings, they never have, and they never will.

[Hb2003 in reply to Therapist104]

Im so sorry about that ☹️ . yes do it through a text i think its better for you

[Therapist104 in reply to Hb2003]

Yeah. I'm about to text them now. I'll let you know how it goes.

[Therapist104 in reply to Therapist104]

So, I just texted my parents, and I said, "Mom, I just hate how you just keep on bringing up the past. It drives me crazy. Please stop" So, my mom said, "Oh well. That's too bad. Suck it up because I'm not changing." My other mom said, "And you think I care?"

[Hb2003 in reply to Therapist104]

Im so sorry about this 😞

[Therapist104 in reply to Hb2003]

It's fine. It's not your fault anyways...

[Hb2003 in reply to Therapist104]

Its not your fault either ❤️🫂

[Therapist104 in reply to Hb2003]

I know...❤️🫂

[Hb2003 in reply to Therapist104]

Im always here if you need any help i also am the same age as you ☺️

[Therapist104 in reply to Hb2003]

That's nice to have someone the same age as me.

[Hb2003 in reply to Therapist104]

☺️ yes it is it helps a lot doesn't it ? 🙏

[Therapist104 in reply to Hb2003]

Yeah. It also helps a lot to have someone I can talk to and that's the same age!

[Hb2003 in reply to Therapist104]

Exactly ☺️

[Hidden]

Hi! Dear GracefulStrength, I'm really impressed that you're figuring stuff out. I am not you so I don't know what you are going through. I can only guess from experience. I don't want to put any ideas in your head. I've heard that talking is for those who don't know or understand but how else can I communicate with you? You are not alone! Science recommends making gratitude lists. I have tried this and it has helped me. Also spending time alone is hard but helpful for me. I think you may be close to a breakthrough and believe you are trying. Don't forget the moment you are in now and try to find something nice. Sometimes when I couldn't find anything that made me want to be on this planet, I would think back to what did and time would pass and I got through it. Also, I would recommend trying to find a physical reason for what you are feeling. I know a lot of people think everything is in our head but I've found if I feel better physically I feel better emotionally. We are all different so you'll need to explore what works for you. I would recommend keeping a journal to track what is going on. Best of luck on your journey. If you need to message me, feel free. I like the saying to "trust your inner authority". And things happen for a reason. Hope you feel better soon. ✌️❤️😸

[Therapist104]

Thanks for your support. I'll try your advice, and I'll let you know if it works or not.

[Hidden in reply to Therapist104]

Okay. That's very nice of you. You can tell me I don't know too or ignore me. I don't mind 😁. Be well!

[Therapist104 in reply to Hidden]

You too Buddhafull!

[Therapist104 in reply to Hidden]

Your advice is helping! Thanks for your support!

[Stellaluna221]

I experienced similar things with my mother growing up. She was always right, I was always wrong. Lots of yelling, lots of crying, lots of hiding... I felt alone, depressed, angry, etc. Now, as an adult, I've learned that it was her own trauma that prevented her from being able to hear me. Somehow, for her, the idea of me struggling meant she had failed as a parent which was just not something she could accept for her own mental health. I wish I could say that it will get better with your parents, but it may not. My mother still skirts the conversation when I try to be honest with her about my mental health. My best suggestion for you is to seek out people you feel safe with and activities that bring you joy. Find an outlet that allows you to express yourself and channel what you're feeling. I took the path of trying to do everything exactly the way I was told, thinking that it would get better and it never did. I so wish I had trusted myself and fostered the things that I loved. It's cliche, but you really are stronger than you know.

[Therapist104 in reply to Stellaluna221]

Aww, thanks! That means a lot!