THE SCURGE OF BEING BI-POLAR

[TEAH35]

For some reason today, My heads not feeling right, And I'm trying to work it all out, If the truth we're to be known, All I want to do Is scream and shout.

My brain will switch from one thought to another, And I hear myself screaming for help, It's now that I feel in my throat I will chock Its now that I feel on my face I will smother.

I've been told many times, By many different folk, My character must be strong, If only they knew the truth of it all, They simply could not be more wrong.

The outer me puts on a smile, Allowing me to carry on, While the inner me is struggling, Struggling just to hang on.

I find myself in a mood I can handle, But then I do a 180, by the flick of a switch, and that's when I can become, A nasty little fucking bitch

How long it will last, nobody knows, It is now that I'm at my most vulnerable, It is now that I can so easily become Painstakingly rude and insufferable.

It comes on so strong, And I have to wonder, When did it start, what did I do, How did I make my life go so wrong.

The meds that I take, That are surposed to help me manage, Can sometimes The very same meds, That cause most of the damage.

Sometimes I pretend I'm out on a boat, floating peacefully on the sea, It's now that I ask the stupidist question,

WHY DEAR LORD, WTF DID YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE ME

[Timorous]

Teah, I know you may feel like you are breaking inside, and falling apart. I know It feels like a curse to constantly switch in your mind and in some cases feel so out of control with your emotions, but I promise you everything will be okay. I myself have struggled with intense emotions that just switch so quickly. It sucks sometimes and it can be hard to cope. My advice to you (which you do not have to take I just care :)) is to try taking deep breaths if you feel like you're really angry. Sometimes clenching your fists and just letting go right after can help. often what helps me when I feel troubled is meditation and listening to calming music. I hope this helped you and I wish you well <3

[TEAH35 in reply to Timorous]

My psychologist has just told me, when I feel I can't get out of bed, I am to sit on the side of the bed, and gently rock. Once you have done that for a while, get up and have a shower. Have not tried it yet, but I will, next time.

[Tanky1968]

Sorry to hear it’s difficult it’s random and very draining it’s tough, hugs mate

[Pink49]

I have bipolar too and I’m not doing good. Hi highs and suicidal lows. I’m at work right now six more hours and I’m a little scared because recently I started drinking alcohol for the suicidal lows my dr appt is on the 8th. I feel like horrible and I’m doing the overnight shift. I am unhappy about the drinking now too and I keep doing it.

[TEAH35 in reply to Pink49]

Please don't drink. I am a recovered alcoholic, I have been sober for 30 + years. Please stop before it's too late ... Believe me when I tell you, you are heading for a life of Hell.